A not-so-candid camera

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Nice camcorder, wanna show me what it can do? In an age where video cameras are as much a part of the holiday regime as flip-flops, snorkels and factor 25, I Camcorder (8.30pm C4) is being promoted as a rough guide to perfect holiday footage.

Unfortunately I have never been able to focus any interest on the world of video, and this programme has finally helped to explain why. In the old days, when people used to stick to snapshots, the outcome may have been intensely dull for anyone but the individual concerned, but at least the Brownie never lied. Now, with the age of editing and familial post- production firmly upon us, the holiday snap has been replaced by the Hollywood picture, and it's not a particularly pleasant sight. In this series and accompanying video release, written by and starring Red Dwarf robot Robert Llewellyn, the emphasis is on perverting reality (stunt shots, trick shots et al) - presumably to allow the entire nation to share the highlights on You've Been Framed. Certainly this visual handbook has its advantages for budding Spielbergs, with sections on story-boarding, special effects and editing, but for your average video monster, the less they know about filming techniques the more they might start to relax and actually enjoy their holiday.

So you wanna make movies? Get off the beach and go to film school.