After Hours

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If it's a neet alc (night out), I get food out of the way pretty quickly. Come the Revolution, Kings Rd, SW10 is my local; it's got a fantastic beer garden, which is good because you can escape the loud music. I've always felt DJs in pubs are stupid. You can't dance in a pub - you look like a real idiot. I also go to Finches Fulham Rd, SW10. It is quite the best pub in London. A fine selection of ales including Red Stripe on draft, and Beamish too.

Then it'll be Kebab Kid in Parson's Green (071-731 0427) - amazing kebabs - or Ranoush Juice in Edgware Rd, W2. These are great places for that drunken mouthful. Maybe even Ed's Diner (071-352 1956). I go to Fulham Rd not King's Rd because they insulted me. I've been sulking and avoiding them. After the pub we might go to a club, maybe The Cross, York Way, N1 (071-837 0828). We get in free and all that palaver. But the trouble is I was detained at Her Majesty's pleasure for two years and that was the key time when house music went from being an underground music to the norm. So I can't take these great big clubs, I just feel alienated. I prefer a smaller club, like Gaz's, Thursdays, Gossips, 69 Dean St, W1 (071-434 4480). It's a touchstone to a bygone era, a proper club.

If I'm finishing up at the office in Soho, I'll have a couple of bevvies at the George in D'Ablay St, W1, then walk across to Grahams, in Poland St (071-437 2788). They do the best fish and chips in London. It's very Jewish. You've got your chopped liver starters which I like. But I've fallen out with the owner. He thinks football, cricket and boxing aren't real sports, only motor racing] Nutter.

Johnny Vaughan presents Channel 4's 'Naked City'

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