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Fancy a ride on the Big Dipper? Take care if you're handsome. The sexy supermodel Fabio could be scarred for life after being hit in the face by a low-flying goose as the roller-coaster ride he was on in the US hit maximum speed. Fancy being that good-looking and still getting smacked in the face by a fat bird at 73mph. Enough to give you goose-bumps.

Don't exert yourself

Most of us will be spending the Easter break passively. According to something called the National Enjoyment Report, most Britons prefer to stay at home and watch television rather than go out with friends, or take any exercise. Sex, being a (mostly) active business, doesn't fare well either. Young people would rather go clubbing and only 38 per cent of British males rate sex highly. They prefer eating, drinking and watching television. If only Fabio had been a Brit.

Pig power

These French piglets, grazing in the shade of the Eiffel Tower, are protesting about the slump in pork prices which has forced many farmers out of business. But do they really want to become saucissons? Haven't they seen Babe? Allez, petits cochons, allez!

Scouse git

When Tony Blair married the lovely Cherie Booth on 28 March 1980 he may have feared that, one day, his new actor father-in-law, Tony Booth, might turn out to be a bit of an embarrassment. It has come to pass. The widower of Pat Phoenix (The Street's Elsie Tanner), star of Till Death Us Do Part and co-star (with Robin Askwith) of Confessions of a Driving Instructor (1976) has had a rather wayward private life, retold charmingly in his autobiography, Stroll On. Since he's been for most of his life an out- of-control-freak, it was inevitable that Booth would call his goody-two- shoes son-in-law a "control freak" who is "throttling democracy" in the Labour Party. No doubt that's not the only thing Blair would like to throttle.

Image of the week

I see the gorillas are out. Kwibi, four months old, and Djalta, 10 months, frolic among the spring daffodils at Howletts Wild Animal Park, Kent. They are being hand-reared by the keepers after their mother rejected them. How could she?