What do you get if you cross a rhino and a Volvo? A broken windscreen and a bent bonnet if the experience of the Webb family is anything to go by. And it didn't happen in Kenya, but in Kidderminster, at the West Midlands Safari Park. Mr Webb explains: "I tried to reverse but nothing happened. The rhino scrabbled further forward and put its right foot into the windscreen, which bowed inwards and started to splinter. It must only have lasted for a matter of seconds, but it seemed to go on for ages." Park wardens rescued them by nudging the two-ton rhino, called Tutsu, with their own vehicle. Sadly, a few days later the Volvo was written off when a Renault 19 ran into the back of it. Shagged by a rhino and buggered by a Renault. Maybe the Webbs will buy a Jaguar next time.
Just as well the Webbs didn't try playing the great white hunters in this, the Italian made Piaggio Ape. It's a new offering from Reliant, who are boosting their range by importing some foreign exotica. The Piaggio has all that we expect from Reliant: three wheels. "Handle-bar commanded", it is priced at about pounds 4,000.
Audience Selection say that more than one in five of us claims to have had sex at work. The boss's desk is especially favoured for its aphrodisiac qualities. The lustiest types are young middle managers from the North. But close scrutiny of the stats raises an awkward question: 28 per cent of men say they have made love in the office, while only 13 per cent of women say the same. Anna Maxted, author of the sexual bible How to Have Him Begging for More, puts us right: "I would imagine a lot of these men are having sex with themselves."
It's a comeback
World peace moves a step closer. Channel 5 are exhuming It's A Knockout, aka Jeux Sans Frontieres, complete with presenter Stuart "And the French are Playing the Joker" Hall. Games without frontiers? War without tears.
Image of the week
Gentiana Zogjana, aged four, from Kosovo arriving at Leeds-Bradford airport. If you'd like to help her friends, phone the appeal: 0990 22 22 33.Reuse content