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Turkey of the week

Meet Trudi the turkey and her owner, Ollie Baker, a farmer. Mr Baker hand-reared the lovely Trudi as a pet. But this turkey voted for Christmas when she escaped from her own safe quarters to join Mr Baker's 1,200 (identical) birds that were, sadly, never going to see another glad, confident Boxing Day morning.

Mr Baker was distraught, the stuffing knocked out of him. But, if you knew Trudi like he knew Trudi... Or, in his words: "Usually the birds are all asleep inside their huts but this time, as I got into the run, one turkey came towards me. I could tell immediately it was Trudi because of the way she walks. She seems to waddle a bit more than the others. I knew for sure it was her."

Law lord of the week

Another turkey. Leonard Hoffmann is the judge who let Pinochet off the hook by neglecting to declare his interest in human rights. But "Leg-over Lennie" has not, in the past, bothered to conceal his passionate concern for the human rights of Stringfellows babes, among others. The Lord Justice of Sex Appeal stopped going to the night spot a few years ago. Do all women find these guys, with their sharp legal minds, full-bottomed wigs and substantial earnings irresistible?

Mini of the week

The Austin Mini - the greatest car ever - celebrates its 40th birthday in 1999. This is Natalie Curtis's festively decorated 1993 job, known, perhaps a little predictably, as Rudolph. He has a red nose, pounds 200-worth of holly, crackers, mistletoe, snowflakes a toy reindeer and a trailer for presents. And (unlike certain small Mercedes) he's sure to pass the "elk test".

Pants of the week

Russian scientists (haven't they got anything better to do?) are developing a cocktail of bacteria to digest the cotton and paper underpants worn by astronauts. Besides saving space in space and removing a potential health risk, the methane produced could be used to power the spacecraft. There should be a fully working version ready by 2017. Intergalactic transport will never be the same again. Eat my shorts, Spock.

Image of the week

Ffion Hague and... surely that can't be the Leader of the Opposition, fresh from another makeover? Wisely, William stayed away from this photo-opportunity, although the shape of the wabbit's head does have a familiar look to it.

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