Books: This really is Spinal Tap

FLESH GUITAR by Geoff Nicholson, Gollancz pounds 9.99

CRITICS have compared Geoff Nicholson (who has 10 novels under his belt) to Evelyn Waugh, Georges Perec and Will Self. His latest novel should prove, once and for all, that Nicholson is incomparable. This is a collage of apocryphal anecdotes, wild imaginings from the pen of a man in love with the electric guitar. And like the music he aims to describe, his story is full of "the sound of planets melting, of death factories imploding, of mythical beasts being slaughtered, the sound of air moving and valves dying".

His timeframe is "early post-nuclear holocaust", and his wonderfully nonplussed heroine, Jenny Slade, makes her entrance walking into an "end- of-the-world watering hole" where she pulls out her instrument, "part deadly weapon and part creature from some alien lagoon" (actually, it's Greg Wintergreen who, we later find out, woke up one morning to find he'd metamorphosed into an electric guitar), and with a long, loud, improvised solo, blows away her audience and disappears into the night, never to be seen again.

Arriving too late for this valedictory gig, her number-one fan, Bob Arnold, fills in the barmaid on her extraordinary CV. Bob is the founding editor of JOSS (The Journal of Sladean Studies), and his discourse on Jenny and the history of the blues guitar provides the structure of the novel. Jenny is the Po-Mo Queen of avant-garde music, forcing her audience to redefine their relationship to music, performance and pleasure. Take her "Hot Solo": she plays a standard I-iv-V chord progression with her left hand, while her right hand takes an ignited blow lamp to the strings; or her equally inflammatory "Errol Flynn Solo" in which she straps on a dildo and uses it to strum the chords of "Mull of Kintyre".

But Jenny doesn't just play the guitar. She goes back in time to hang out with other guitar legends like Jimi Hendrix, Kurt Cobain and Frank Zappa, none of whom can get the measure of her. She also finds her way round Aboriginal songlines by playing "Route 66" and "By The Time I Get to Phoenix". While others burn out (her mentor Captain Ahab stage-dives to his death, the Hormone Twins beat themselves to a pulp in rhythmical accompaniment to one of her soaring solos, and her accompanist is massacred in a prison riot triggered by the feedback from her guitar), Jenny keeps on playing.

Jenny is brought down by the media, and Nicholson ends his meditation on the infinite possibilities of the ultimate 20th-century instrument by acknowledging the precision (and anaesthetising qualities) of machine- generated music. But not before he has reminded us of the vitality, diversity and soulwrenching capabilities of this combination of songs, plectrum and amp. As Bob says of a Slade gig, Nicholson doesn't just give you what you want, he gives you what you never even knew existed.

Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Arts and Entertainment

ebooksNow available in paperback
Arts and Entertainment

Arts and Entertainment
Arts and Entertainment
Place Blanche, Paris, 1961, shot by Christer Strömholm
photographyHow the famous camera transformed photography for ever
Arts and Entertainment
The ‘Westmacott Athlete’
Arts and Entertainment
‘The Royals’ – a ‘twisted, soapy take on England’s first family’
tv Some of the characters appear to have clear real-life counterparts
Brooks is among a dozen show-business professionals ever to have achieved Egot status
Arts and Entertainment
A cut above: Sean Penn is outclassed by Mark Rylance in The Gunman
film review
Arts and Entertainment
arts + ents
Arts and Entertainment
James Franco and Zachary Quinto in I Am Michael

Film review Michael Glatze biopic isn't about a self-hating gay man gone straight

Arts and Entertainment
A scene from the movie 'Get Hard'
tvWill Ferrell’s new film Get Hard receives its first reviews
Arts and Entertainment
Left to right: David Cameron (Mark Dexter), Nick Clegg (Bertie Carvel) and Gordon Brown (Ian Grieve)
tvReview: Ian Grieve gets another chance to play Gordon Brown... this is the kinder version
Arts and Entertainment
Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman in the first look picture from next year's Sherlock special

Arts and Entertainment
Because it wouldn’t be Glastonbury without people kicking off about the headline acts, a petition has already been launched to stop Kanye West performing on the Saturday night

Arts and Entertainment
Molly Risker, Helen Monks, Caden-Ellis Wall, Rebekah Staton, Erin Freeman, Philip Jackson and Alexa Davies in ‘Raised by Wolves’

TV review
Arts and Entertainment

Arts and Entertainment
James May, Jeremy Clarkson and Richard Hammond in the Top Gear Patagonia Special

Arts and Entertainment
Game of Thrones will run for ten years if HBO gets its way but showrunners have mentioned ending it after seven

Game of Thrones
Arts and Entertainment
Mans Zelmerlow will perform 'Heroes' for Sweden at the Eurovision Song Contest 2015

Arts and Entertainment
Elizabeth (Heida Reed) and Ross Poldark (Aiden Turner) in the BBC's remake of their 1975 original Poldark

Poldark review
  • Get to the point
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?

ES Rentals

    Independent Dating

    By clicking 'Search' you
    are agreeing to our
    Terms of Use.

    Election 2015: How many of the Government's coalition agreement promises have been kept?

    Promises, promises

    But how many coalition agreement pledges have been kept?
    The Gaza fisherman who built his own reef - and was shot dead there by an Israeli gunboat

    The death of a Gaza fisherman

    He built his own reef, and was fatally shot there by an Israeli gunboat
    Saudi Arabia's airstrikes in Yemen are fuelling the Gulf's fire

    Saudi airstrikes are fuelling the Gulf's fire

    Arab intervention in Yemen risks entrenching Sunni-Shia divide and handing a victory to Isis, says Patrick Cockburn
    Zayn Malik's departure from One Direction shows the perils of fame in the age of social media

    The only direction Zayn could go

    We wince at the anguish of One Direction's fans, but Malik's departure shows the perils of fame in the age of social media
    Young Magician of the Year 2015: Meet the schoolgirl from Newcastle who has her heart set on being the competition's first female winner

    Spells like teen spirit

    A 16-year-old from Newcastle has set her heart on being the first female to win Young Magician of the Year. Jonathan Owen meets her
    Jonathan Anderson: If fashion is a cycle, this young man knows just how to ride it

    If fashion is a cycle, this young man knows just how to ride it

    British designer Jonathan Anderson is putting his stamp on venerable house Loewe
    Number plates scheme could provide a licence to offend in the land of the free

    Licence to offend in the land of the free

    Cash-strapped states have hit on a way of making money out of drivers that may be in collision with the First Amendment, says Rupert Cornwell
    From farm to fork: Meet the Cornish fishermen, vegetable-growers and butchers causing a stir in London's top restaurants

    From farm to fork in Cornwall

    One man is bringing together Cornwall's most accomplished growers, fishermen and butchers with London's best chefs to put the finest, freshest produce on the plates of some of the country’s best restaurants
    Robert Parker interview: The world's top wine critic on tasting 10,000 bottles a year, absurd drinking notes and New World wannabes

    Robert Parker interview

    The world's top wine critic on tasting 10,000 bottles a year, absurd drinking notes and New World wannabes
    Don't believe the stereotype - or should you?

    Don't believe the stereotype - or should you?

    We exaggerate regional traits and turn them into jokes - and those on the receiving end are in on it too, says DJ Taylor
    How to make your own Easter egg: Willie Harcourt-Cooze shares his chocolate recipes

    How to make your own Easter egg

    Willie Harcourt-Cooze talks about his love affair with 'cacao' - and creates an Easter egg especially for The Independent on Sunday
    Bill Granger recipes: Our chef declares barbecue season open with his twist on a tradtional Easter Sunday lamb lunch

    Bill Granger's twist on Easter Sunday lunch

    Next weekend, our chef plans to return to his Aussie roots by firing up the barbecue
    Joe Marler: 'It's the way I think the game should be played'

    Joe Marler: 'It's the way I think the game should be played'

    The England prop relives the highs and lows of last Saturday's remarkable afternoon of Six Nations rugby
    Cricket World Cup 2015: Has the success of the tournament spelt the end for Test matches?

    Cricket World Cup 2015

    Has the success of the tournament spelt the end for Test matches?
    The Last Word: Justin Gatlin knows the price of everything, the value of nothing

    Michael Calvin's Last Word

    Justin Gatlin knows the price of everything, the value of nothing