As Shirley Conran said: "Life's too short to stuff a mushroom," so let's get on with Section One:
Eight dishes, eight countries, but which originated where? If you were eating the foods numbered 1 to 8, which of the countries a to h would you expect to be in? We're talking proper ethnic stuff here, no cheap foreign imitations. So if you think Rodgrod comes from Russia, just write "1g" on your answer, and so on until all dishes and countries are consumed.
2. Nasi Goreng
7. Unkar beyendi
Pause between courses to remember, as Ogden Nash said, that "parsley is gharsley".
And swiftly on to Section 2:
Eight dishes, eight ingredients, but can you match them correctly? For each of the dishes, numbered 1 to 8, you must identify one characteristic ingredient (not necessarily the principal one) from those lettered a to h. You should end up with no waste and all ingredients allocated.
1. Hindle wakes
2. Stargazey pie
4. Eggs Benedict
5. Omelette norvegienne
6. Angels on horseback
8. Gentleman's Relish
d) ice cream
"It's good food and not fine words that keeps me alive," wrote Moliere, but here are some fine words to end the quiz.
DEVOURING THE LITERATURE:
All you have to do is pick the right words from those lettered a to h to fill the gaps in the quotations 1 to 8.
1. "--- should be well-sliced, and dressed with pepper and vinegar, and then thrown out, as good for nothing." (Samuel Johnson)
2. "He was a bold man that first eat ---." (Jonathan Swift)
3. "That evening, for the first time, I tasted ---, roasted on a forked stick over the ashes, which I thought then, and still consider, to be one of the greatest delicacies." (Frederick Courteney Selous)
4. "What I say is that, if a fellow really likes ---, he must be a pretty decent sort of fellow." (A A Milne)
5. "Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of ---." (G K Chesterton).
6. "Madam, I have been looking for a person who disliked --- all my life; let us swear eternal friendship." (Sydney Smith)
7. "--- is an important part of a balanced diet." (Fran Leibowitz)
8. "A biochemist once told me that every minute --- is cooked makes it take three hours longer to digest." (M F K Fisher)
a) an egg
c) an oyster
h) elephant's heart
Send all your answers to Dillons Food Quiz, The Independent, 1 Canada Square, London E14 5DL to reach us by 17 December. Usual The Independent competition rules apply.