The Diary: The Stand's advertising campaign; Craig Revel Horwood's pelvis; 24: Redemption; Wilton's Music Hall

Comedy derailed

The Stand's advertising campaign backfired this week when Virgin Trains' Hotline magazine banned the Scottish comedy clubs' publicity material because it features a child holding a gun to his head. In a statement reported on the comedy website Chortle, Virgin Trains said: "Hotline is available to all passengers and we are greatly concerned about carrying anything that portrays or illustrates knife or gun crime. We are more than happy to discuss alternative adverts." The problem is, as The Stand's director Tommy Sheppard says: "It's as much our logo as the shell is Shell's logo." The clubs have been using the image of a boy in a cowboy outfit standing in front of a microphone and holding a toy gun to his head for 10 years. "It's a perfect metaphor for someone starting stand-up. It sums up the excitement but also the dread that goes through your head. There's no way it's designed to promote gun crime." Sheppard has since written to Richard Branson, appealing to his common sense – and sense of humour.

Bone of contention

Have you ever wanted to get up close and personal with Craig Revel Horwood's pelvis? Me neither. But should the desire take you, the bitchiest Strictly Come Dancing judge has posed for a charity calendar to raise money for the National Osteoporosis Society. The photographer Nick Veasey has produced x-ray images of the body parts of various celebrities including CSS lead singer Lovefoxx (skull), Joanna Lumley (ribcage) and Bruce Forsyth (elbow, what else?). "Craig isn't anything like he comes across on Strictly. He's been a true gent," says a spokesperson. At the launch party, Revel Horwood even purchased one of the £8.99 calendars for Brucie's Christmas present. Who said the judges were mean? www.loveyourbones.org.uk

Daily torture

You just don't mess with Jack Bauer. Everybody knows that. Apart from, it seems, Robert Carlyle. The Scottish actor played Bauer's old Special Forces buddy, Carl Benton, in the two-hour special '24: Redemption' earlier this week. Talking about filming scenes outside Cape Town to 'TV Guide', Carlyle reveals that he committed a near-torturable offence on set. "During one of the scenes, I playfully slapped Kiefer on the arm and the whole set went, 'No! You never touch Jack Bauer when he's working'."

A ripping yarn

To the atmospheric Wilton's Music Hall for a spooky screening of Whitechapel, a gory new ITV thriller about a Jack the Ripper copycat stalking the streets of East London. The three-parter, which will screen early next year, stars Phil Davis, former spook Rupert Penry-Jones and Steve Pemberton from 'The League of Gentlemen'. Penry-Jones (right, centre), who plays an obsessive-compulsive career cop, ruled out becoming both the next Doctor Who and the next James Bond since he'd never really felt "comfortable" taking over from Matthew Macfadyen in 'Spooks'. Not that he has to worry about that anymore, having been blown up by a car bomb in the latest series of the MI5 drama. "I was very pleased with that. I'm glad they chose to kill me off. You get that lovely montage of the other characters looking sad. I Sky Plus-ed it and showed it to my kids. They've watched it 20 times now."