The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov: The Novel Cure for fear of parties

Bulgakov's 1966 masterpiece is sure to put your panic into perspective

A stage version of The Master and Margarita, directed by British director Simon McBurney in 2012 (Getty Images)

Ailment: Fear of parties

Cure: The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov

Pre-party paralysis can hit at any time, whether it's your own event, a friend's, or even a child's party. Symptoms can range from the mild (can't find anything to wear, eye-twitching) to the more serious (voice loss, passing out). If you suffer from this sort of party-induced stage fright – or have friends who do – we prescribe regular doses of Bulgakov's 1966 masterpiece. It's sure to put your panic into perspective.

Set in Stalinist Moscow in the early years of the 20th century, this surreal novel has the devil turning up on a park bench predicting the death by decapitation under a tram of a man named Berlioz. The prediction comes true. As the devil and his entourage – including a giant cat – go on to wreak merry havoc, a second narrative develops. This charts the events leading up to Christ's crucifixion, as told by "the Master", an impoverished, embittered author. The two strands meet at a spring ball – the devil's annual shindig – and Margarita, mistress to the Master, is invited to co-host.

Understandably, Margarita has reservations about the party. The guest list is a roll call of the most notorious murderers and dictators in history, and their victims, from Caligula to the recently sliced-off head of Berlioz. But she discerns that if she keeps her own head and makes a spirited first impression, radiating confidence, she'll get through the evening and cope.

So it is that she arrives stark naked, but for a pair of rose-petal shoes. With the bearing of a queen, she welcomes every rotting corpse and skeleton, charming every hellish henchman in the room. She even enjoys herself – despite being sprayed with blood and kissed continually on the knee.

A party of mere mortals will seem about as demanding as a quiet cuppa with your granny after this. And to go one better, take Margarita's tip and bring the drama to the party yourself.

​thenovelcure.com