Donald Trump authored a novel and naturally it's about non-consensual sex and workplace racism

Featuring lines like: ‘“Come on, you’re a shoo-in.” He reminded her, “Two white guys and a great-looking minority girl with perfect boobs? No contest.”’

The book on sale in the Trump Tower gift shop (Getty)

Donald J. Trump’s presidential campaign has been a cavalcade of ignominies, and today a fresh embarrassment joins the procession in the form of Trump Tower, a book written by the Republican candidate bearing the tagline: ‘The sexiest novel of the decade’.

I say written, Trump Tower was in fact ghostwritten by Jeffrey Robinson for the Republican candidate, debuting in 2012, billed as Trump’s ‘debut novel’ and being sold in the titular tower’s gift store.

Hilariously, the only review on the back cover comes from Trump himself, who writes: "Jeffrey Robinson’s novel Trump Tower bares it all. Here is the drama of the Ultra Rich, the Ultra Powerful, and the Ultra Beautiful who call the most glamorous address in the country their home. I can’t wait to see it on television!”

As for press coverage, only The New York Post appears to have reviewed the book, noting its BDSM, Fifty Shades of Grey-esque content but distinct lack of sexual consent.

The Huffington Post unearthed the novel, which was never published formally but is registered by ISBN with Trump listed as the author.

After reading, the publication’s Todd Van Luling described it as an “incredibly sexist novel”, and picked out some choice quotes:

‘“Come on, you’re a shoo-in.” He reminded her, “Two white guys and a great-looking minority girl with perfect boobs? No contest.”’

‘…as Belasco had already discovered — being two or three pounds heavier than she’d been as a teenager — she now had absolutely gorgeous breasts.’

‘“Ladies who lunch,” Cyndi said. “This time,” Alicia suggested, “let’s try to keep our clothes on.”’

Promo materials for the book

‘He watched them for a moment, then stepped into the room and got into bed with them. “When you’re done with him, luv,” Ricky said to Shari, “you get on top of me. Just be careful this bleeding ankle bracelet don’t leave no marks.”’

‘Jaquim pointed to his chest and nodded, “He like his mama’s titties a lot.”’ … ‘David mumbled, “I’d probably like his mama’s titties, too,” and, instead of using his key, he rang the bell.’

‘“That’s what Trump wanted to know when I mentioned the deal to him. You know what I told him?” “What?” “I said, ‘Donald, when you own the world, you get laid a lot.’” Couric looked at him askance. “And you know what he said to me?” Zeke nodded several times, “He said that when he was single and running around with some of the most beautiful women on the planet, absolutely gorgeous girls, he used to get laid all the time. He said, ‘Zeke, I didn’t have to own the world.’ And I said to him, Donald, of course not, because you already owned the air rights.” Couric smiled politely.'

Trump continues to run for President of the United States of America.