Twisting My Melon: The Autobiography, By Shaun Ryder

These are exciting times for connoisseurs of seedy rock memoirs. The ne plus ultra of this unimportant genre, Mötley Crüe's sporadically believable The Dirt, has been extended and reissued, presumably bolstered by the less exciting rehab years. Yet next to the recollections of Shaun Ryder, the frontman of Happy Mondays and Black Grape, the Crüe's escapades are mere showbusiness.

Walking onstage at the wrong venue (a Simply Red show!) is an averagely addled anecdote. Much sleazier was his band's Glastonbury headline slot in 1990, which he marked by smoking heroin for three days in the tour bus's luggage hold. Even the Mondays' first trip to New York was merely an opportunity to sample some delicious crack cocaine only recently released into the US marketplace.

Is he a fearless libertine heroically defying society's pointless mores, or a sociopathic, drug-muddled, thieving scrote? No one ever said an entertainer can't be both, and from an early age, Ryder learnt to reappropriate others' property for advantage. Even the title of his book, a catchphrase famously garbled at the start of "Step On", was lifted from a documentary about Steve McQueen. Whole songs were effectively created from favourite film dialogue, familiar choruses or even the verbal quirks of friends. How Postmodern.

In other ways, however, Ryder & Co were traditionalists. Happy Mondays twigged that the best way to experience a "rock'n'roll lifestyle" is to form a gang ... I mean, a band. Although enjoyably ropey punk-funk bands were 10 a penny in early-Eighties Lancashire, only the Mondays possessed even a hint of threat. Not to mention a boggle-eyed dancer who contributed little else save the crucial "vibes".

Everything changed when "the E" appeared. (In best insider fashion, the definite article is always used, as with that other English dance tradition, "the Morris".) From their corner of The Haçienda club, where they were semi-employed as proselytisers of the pill (which paid better than being in an indie band), they helped create a scene that they fed off and soundtracked. Shows grew bigger, the sneaking went international, yet Manchester still defined them. Watching the Strangeways prison riot while abroad, Ryder realised just how dysfunctional his home town was: "The police chief was talking to God, the Haçienda was still mental, the prison was rioting, the whole city just seemed like a cartoon."

Unsurprisingly, the unstable Mondays crashed acrimoniously. But after his triumphant return with the excellent Black Grape, a management dispute effectively sidelined Ryder for a decade. After appearing on Living TV's Ghosthunting with Happy Mondays, an invitation from I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here! could only be a step up. Berating Gillian McKeith for "having an attitude and lacking manners" made Ryder a national hero. That he even noticed must count as redemption, although few will read this highly entertaining, effortlessly egotistical tome for moral elevation.

Independent Comment
blog comments powered by Disqus
News in pictures
World news in pictures
Arts & Ents blogs

Question Time with Mathew Jonson

Mathew Jonson has been a hero of mine for quite some time now. His timeless piece, Marionette, was o...

Something For The Weekend in London: May 24-26

We love London for its multiculturalism, so we’re all about that cross-cultural life this weekend by...

Owen Howells: From the UK to Australia and back again (and again!)

Owen Howells is a DJ/producer who grew up in Australia but was born in the UK. He came back to the U...

       

ES Rentals

    Andrew Mitchell: 'It's no good feeling hard done by'

    Andrew Mitchell: 'It's no good feeling hard done by'

    In his first interview since 'plebgate', the former Chief Whip opens up just enough to concede that, in politics, you have to take the rough with the smooth

    Johnny Marr talks relationships and reunions

    He's worked with Modest Mouse, the Pet Shop Boys and Beck, to name a few, and recently released his first solo album. So why, wonders Johnny Marr, do people still hark on about The Smiths?
    Corruption and the FCO: Blue skies, white sands, dark clouds

    Corruption and the FCO: Blue skies, white sands, dark clouds

    Special report: Met police call for criminal inquiry into former diplomat's Cayman Islands rule
    Fallen angel: Winona Ryder on bouncing back from her decade in the wilderness

    Fallen angel: Winona Ryder bounces back

    She owned the 1990s... but then she disappeared. Now, Ms Ryder is back with quite the bang in her latest role, as the wife of a notorious real-life Mob hitman.
    Roman Polanski shakes Cannes Film Festival

    Roman Polanski shakes Cannes Film Festival

    The director's new film, 'Venus in Fur', is one of the raciest on offer
    Rev Richard Coles: 'I don’t have any concerns that God is cross with me for being gay and eventually the Church won’t either'

    Rev Richard Coles on the Church and homosexuality

    The mellifluous, erudite and witty Coles is the nation's most pop-culture-friendly priest
    'Baghdad likes to live from crisis to crisis': Civil war looms in Iraq

    Patrick Cockburn: Civil war looms in Iraq

    The governor of Kirkuk - one of the country's most violent but successful provinces - fears the worst
    Written on the body: Tattooists at pains to point out their artistic credentials

    Written on the body

    Tattooists at pains to point out their artistic credentials
    Conquering Everest: 60 facts about the world's tallest mountain

    Conquering Everest: 60 facts about the world's tallest mountain

    The IoS marks the sixtieth anniversary of Sir Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norgay first reaching the peak of the highest mountain on Earth
    A new, and irreversible, Dust Bowl looms

    Rupert Cornwell: A new, and irreversible, Dust Bowl looms

    The destructive power of tornadoes will be as nothing once the Great Plains' vast underground water reserve dries up
    Every creature's needless death diminshes us all

    Philip Hoare: Every creature's needless death diminishes us all

    A 60 per cent decline in our national species should alarm us, yet few of us act. But to mind more about animals would reflect well on society
    Killing with kindness: Burma's religious battleground - and the monks at the heart of it

    Killing with kindness: Burma's religious battleground

    Six years ago, the world cheered the monks behind Burma’s Saffron Revolution. Now, a horrific new eruption of religious slaughter is being blamed on a 'Buddhist Bin Laden'.
    Let's take it outside: Bill Granger's Bank Holiday feast

    Let's take it outside: Bill Granger's Bank Holiday feast

    You can’t always depend on the weather – but you can avoid the pitfalls of the British barbecue by preparing an elaborate outdoor feast indoors ahead of time...
    The Calvin report: Stirring Champions League final shows how far English game must advance

    The Calvin report

    Stirring Champions League final shows how far English game must advance
    10 big questions for the British & Irish Lions to answer

    10 big questions for the British & Irish Lions to answer

    Warren Gatland's squad fly Down Under aiming to do justice to the expectations – and hoping the Wallabies stay in the pub