Christmas Food & Drink: The spirits of christmas

Those curiously coloured drinks with unpronounceable names hidden at the back of the cocktail cabinet are due for their annual airing. Terry Durack suggests some uses for them

IT SEEMS A rather bizarre admission to make, but I once bought an alcoholic beverage solely because of its colour. I also once bought a bottle of wine solely because of the amount of dust on its shoulders, but that's another confession altogether. The colourful liqueur in question was Blue Curacao, which bore a striking, electric shade that looked a little like a blue rinse gone wrong.

This total lapse in common sense occurred during my Sophisticated Swinging Cocktail Set period, when I was liberally experimenting with mind-altering substances. They came in an artist's palette of colours ranging from bright yellow (chartreuse) to emerald green (creme de menthe), including one particularly over-the-top number with gold flecks suspended in it, like a drinkable snow dome. (Hands up all those who have a bottle of Goldwasser in the back of the cupboard. Okay, hands down, somebody might see you.)

Buying Blue Curacao is one thing. Trying to find something sensible to do with it is quite another. I suppose it is just possible that the Luisita (Blue Curacao, barley water, lemon juice and soda, Italian National Cocktail of 1966) wasn't totally terrible. And the Blue Devil (gin, maraschino, lime and Blue Curacao) at least has the advantage of using up both the Blue Curacao and the maraschino. Most of my concoctions, however, tasted an awful lot like a blue rinse gone wrong.

I recall only one great success. It occurred after my wife responded to my inquiry as to her cocktail needs with the words: "Surprise me."

And so the Durack Death Wish was born. One part Blue Curacao, one part tequila, one part vodka, one part white rum and one part gin, garnished with half a green apple, slit and inserted on the rim of a brandy snifter, and served while wearing only a Groucho Marx mask. It tasted vile, but boy, was she surprised.

Several years after my Swinging Sophisticated Cocktail Set period, I flew into Bangkok, jet-lagged to (and from) the high heavens, and checked into the Oriental Bangkok hotel. Too tired to go to bed, I repaired to the cocktail lounge, where it just so happened to be Happy Hour, those 60 minutes in which the most miserable people in the world prolong their problems by drinking a lot more than they should.

The next thing I knew, it was three o'clock the following afternoon and I was in bed with my clothes on. Hmmm. I showered, dressed, and dropped into the bar for a pre-dinner drink.

"Ah, Mr Grasshopper," beamed the cheerful barman.

"I'm sorry?" I said. Obviously he'd mistaken me for someone else.

"You like another Grasshopper, Mr Grasshopper?"

"Look," I said firmly, "I don't even like creme de menthe."

Suddenly there was a wide-mouthed Martini glass of white and green creme de menthe and cream frothing by my hand.

"There," he announced triumphantly. "The usual."

The only thing I can say about the alleged Grasshopper incident is that I can't remember a single thing, which, as anyone who has ever tasted a Grasshopper will know, is not necessarily bad.

We have all had our Swinging Sophisticated Cocktail Set periods. They tend to pop up every decade, so no generation can escape them. The names might change, but the colours, ah, the colours ...

The blue of Curacao has been replaced by the blue of Bombay Sapphire gin, creme-de-menthe green is now Midori melon green, and chartreuse yellow has given way to southern Italian Limoncello. But for those rumbling through the cupboard in search of a little yule-tide cheer, only to unearth a vomitous rainbow of green, red, orange and purple stuff, there is salvation at hand.

You might just find that you have the makings of some of the finest Christmas cocktails ever invented, without even knowing it. Those bottles of apricot brandy, Dom Benedictine, Tia Maria and sake can be the spirits of Christmas present, not just past. And at least you got rid of the bottle of advocaat with your last divorce.

The sake, for example, is best employed in a rather gorgeous little concoction known in New York as the Saketini (three parts frozen sake, one part dry vermouth, twist of lime peel). As for that unfashionable half-bottle of brown rum, think of it as the first step to a good old festive eggnog, along with sugar, egg, whisky, lemon peel and nutmeg.

If there is any Pimm's No 1 Cup lying around (and of course there is) then congratulations - it's trendy again. Try it in a VIP (gin, Pimm's, passion fruit juice, dry vermouth and lemon juice) created for a Taylor and Burton film of the same name. Even creme de menthe takes on a little social credibility when transformed into a Caruso (one part dry gin, one part dry vermouth, one part creme de menthe, shake over crushed ice). Cointreau should be utilised immediately in the making one of the great classic cocktails of our time; the lemony, elegant White Lady (two parts dry gin, one part Cointreau, one part lemon juice). As for Blue Curacao, you're on your own.

If you still have a few bottles left and you're bored out of your brain, have no taste and even less shame, and don't mind indulging in a little cheap exhibitionism, then the obvious answer is the pousse-cafe. For those born after 1945, a pousse-cafe is an amusing construction, consisting of separate layers of differently coloured and weighted liqueurs. It's, um, not the sort of thing you'd serve Hugh Johnson.

Or you could give up and serve vodka. After all, it is the spirit of the 90s. It's colourless, odourless, and tasteless. But is it as much fun?

Suggested Topics
Arts and Entertainment

TV
Arts and Entertainment
Cara Delevingne modelling

film
Arts and Entertainment
Sheridan Smith as Cilla Black

TV
Arts and Entertainment
Emma Thompson and Bryn Terfel are bringing Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street to the London Coliseum

theatre
Arts and Entertainment
Robin Thicke's video for 'Blurred Lines' has been criticised for condoning rape

Robin Thicke admits he didn't write 'Blurred Lines'

music
PROMOTED VIDEO
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Arts and Entertainment
Sheridan Smith as Cilla Black

Review: Cilla, ITV TV
Arts and Entertainment

TV
Arts and Entertainment
Tom Hardy stars with Cillian Murphy in Peaky Blinders II

TV
Arts and Entertainment

art
Arts and Entertainment
Keira Knightley and Benedict Cumberbatch star in the Alan Turing biopic The Imitation Game

film
Arts and Entertainment
Kanye West is on his 'Yeezus' tour at the moment

Music
Arts and Entertainment
Rob James-Collier, who plays under-butler Thomas Barrow, admitted to suffering sleepless nights over the Series 5 script

TV
Arts and Entertainment
Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence star in new film 'Serena'

film
Arts and Entertainment
Some might argue that a fleeting moment in the actor’s scintillating, silver-tongued company is worth every penny.

TV
Arts and Entertainment
Colin Firth stars as master magician Stanley Crawford in Woody Allen's 'Magic in the Moonlight'

film
Arts and Entertainment
U2 have released Songs of Innocence in partnership with Apple

musicBand have offered new record for free on iTunes
Arts and Entertainment
Brad Pitt stars in David Ayer's World War II drama Fury

film
Arts and Entertainment
Top hat: Pharrell Williams

music
Arts and Entertainment
Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum star as undercover cops in 22 Jump Street

film
Arts and Entertainment
David Bowie is back with fresh music after last year's hit album The Next Day

music
Arts and Entertainment
Keith Richards is publishing 'Gus and Me: The Story of My Granddad and My First Guitar', a children's book about his introduction to music

music
Arts and Entertainment
Calvin Harris has generated £4m in royalties from the music platform

music
Arts and Entertainment
Jenna Coleman stars as the Time Lord's companion Clara in Doctor Who

TV
Arts and Entertainment
Time and time again: the popular daytime quiz has been a fixture on Channel 4 since 1982

TV
Arts and Entertainment

To mark Tolstoy's 186th birthday

books
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?

ES Rentals

    Independent Dating
    and  

    By clicking 'Search' you
    are agreeing to our
    Terms of Use.

    Mystery of the Ground Zero wedding photo

    A shot in the dark

    Mystery of the wedding photo from Ground Zero
    His life, the universe and everything

    His life, the universe and everything

    New biography sheds light on comic genius of Douglas Adams
    Save us from small screen superheroes

    Save us from small screen superheroes

    Shows like Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D are little more than marketing tools
    Reach for the skies

    Reach for the skies

    From pools to football pitches, rooftop living is looking up
    These are the 12 best hotel spas in the UK

    12 best hotel spas in the UK

    Some hotels go all out on facilities; others stand out for the sheer quality of treatments
    These Iranian-controlled Shia militias used to specialise in killing American soldiers. Now they are fighting Isis, backed up by US airstrikes

    Widespread fear of Isis is producing strange bedfellows

    Iranian-controlled Shia militias that used to kill American soldiers are now fighting Isis, helped by US airstrikes
    Topshop goes part Athena poster, part last spring Prada

    Topshop goes part Athena poster, part last spring Prada

    Shoppers don't come to Topshop for the unique
    How to make a Lego masterpiece

    How to make a Lego masterpiece

    Toy breaks out of the nursery and heads for the gallery
    Meet the ‘Endies’ – city dwellers who are too poor to have fun

    Meet the ‘Endies’ – city dwellers who are too poor to have fun

    Urbanites are cursed with an acronym pointing to Employed but No Disposable Income or Savings
    Paisley’s decision to make peace with IRA enemies might remind the Arabs of Sadat

    Ian Paisley’s decision to make peace with his IRA enemies

    His Save Ulster from Sodomy campaign would surely have been supported by many a Sunni imam
    'She was a singer, a superstar, an addict, but to me, her mother, she is simply Amy'

    'She was a singer, a superstar, an addict, but to me, her mother, she is simply Amy'

    Exclusive extract from Janis Winehouse's poignant new memoir
    Is this the role to win Cumberbatch an Oscar?

    Is this the role to win Cumberbatch an Oscar?

    The Imitation Game, film review
    England and Roy Hodgson take a joint step towards redemption in Basel

    England and Hodgson take a joint step towards redemption

    Welbeck double puts England on the road to Euro 2016
    Relatives fight over Vivian Maier’s rare photos

    Relatives fight over Vivian Maier’s rare photos

    Pictures removed from public view as courts decide ownership
    ‘Fashion has to be fun. It’s a big business, not a cure for cancer’

    ‘Fashion has to be fun. It’s a big business, not a cure for cancer’

    Donatella Versace at New York Fashion Week