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Coales' Notes: Across the water: Gordon Coales continues to fight for the Wormwood Centre in exile and contemplates his own future career

Gordon Coales
Monday 11 January 1993 01:02 GMT
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MONDAY: I agreed to stake out the shopping centre this morning with Olly and a trestle table, presenting our 'Wormwood Must Survive' petition to the public. Very little response initially, and to liven things up, he began to call out such questions as 'Are you feeling uncivilised?' and 'Is there an art-shaped hole in your life?' - a regrettable choice of words, guaranteed to inspire unpleasantly aggressive replies from passers-by.

I found myself standing more and more to one side. He suggested that, in order to gather attention, I should act as decoy, and pretend to engage him in dispute, putting forward obviously bad arguments against the existence of a local arts centre. Unfortunately I was not able to come up with any which were so obviously bad as to prevent me from attracting something of a following, and with Olly clearly getting the worst of things, he was advised by a policeman to move along for his own safety. Fortunately he enjoys this sort of activity.

I'm beginning to have doubts about this whole campaign. Back home, I caught myself browsing through the jobs section of The Guardian. Nothing appropriate. And I am forced to wonder, after a lifetime in arts administration, what precisely am I qualified for?

TUESDAY: Another 'Centre in Exile' meeting at Fiona's flat. I feel increasingly that they are living in a world of fantasy. There was an unknown young woman present, and Fiona introduced us: 'Gordon, I want you to meet Shirley, our new 1993 artist-in-residence.'

I said I hoped it had been explained to Shirley that there wasn't really anywhere for her to reside at the moment.

Fiona said: 'Right. In fact you might say that, in a sense, she's homeless.' I agreed one might well.

Fiona went on: 'Right. And Shirley's idea is that this is precisely what she is. And so she's going sit out on the street with a piece of cardboard saying 'Wormwood Artist-in-Residence: Homeless and Hungry'. Which says it all, really.'

I wasn't absolutely clear that this was entirely Shirley's idea. But I suppose one more person on the street won't attract too much notice.

WEDNESDAY: Another meeting. Bob and Juliet arrived in a great state of excitement. Bob said: 'Look, a bit of good news. We've got this bus.' Juliet said: 'OK, think about it. ARTBUS - The Moving Centre. We clear out all the seats on the lower deck to create an exhibition space. And we clear out some of the seats on the upper deck, to create an auditorium/ performance space.'

Bob added: 'This has got to be the most serious development in community outreach projects since . . . well, mobile libraries.' Fiona was very interested.

Juliet added: 'And we were thinking, what would be ideal would be if you, Gordon, could be the conductor. Because you are kind of conductory, if you know what I mean. With a cap.'

I asked soberly if they had also got anyone in mind who was licensed to drive the bus. Bob said: 'That is, as things stand, the immediate hitch.' Juliet looked at me and said: 'But you could easily learn, couldn't you?'

I asked if they were seriously asking me to consider becoming a bus-driver? It seemed they were.

THURSDAY: I woke up this morning, very unclear as to why I have allowed myself to become involved in this charade at all. I rang up Fiona, and told her I didn't honestly see how this 'Exile' thing was going to work. It was understandable that there should be a wave of euphoria imediately after closure. But obviously we couldn't keep it up indefinitely, it was just going to antagonise the Council, so what on earth was the point?

She said: 'You don't honestly believe this 'temporary closure' line do you? Clearly what they're trying to do is keep the Centre out of sight until everyone's forgotten it was ever there, and then - surprise, surprise - we'll all wake up one morning and find that it's being converted into a restaurant complex.' So the crucial thing was to keep the name in the public eye. 'The point of what we are doing is to embarrass the Council into re-opening the Centre as soon as possible. We are now using embarrassment as a weapon.'

At least we're playing what has always been our strong suit.

FRIDAY: I have received a stern summons to a meeting with the Leisure Committee next week. Bearing in mind what Fiona said, I shall make it clear to them that long administrative experience is of course a flexible commodity, and that it should really make very little difference whether the concern was an Arts Centre or - for the sake of argument - a restaurant.

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