Cool, creamy, pure - the language of lust

No 124: PHILADELPHIA
THOSE Philadelphia girls reflect our times: they're onto PCs and modern Italian bread now. This interesting suburban pairing - are they modelled on French and Saunders or is it the other way round? - has proved one of the more durable campaigns of the last 10 years. Is it because their food-obsessed conversation is a metaphor for turbulent inner lives, or is talking dirty about hunger enough in itself to resonate with modern women?

Anyway, their new commercial has quite enough orgasmic tremulousness to support any metaphor going. It starts in some sort of corporate food court. The Dawn type wears a pink scarf wound through her hair, a scoop-necked green floral number, hoop earrings and sunspecs - the entire apparatus of the 1950s Artistic Holiday Gypsy mode.

The focus of their enlightened conversation is Dawn's new lap-top. Is it a new handbag asks the Dumb Blonde one, nervously handling a waxy red apple. No, it's her interactive language laboratory. It's talking about Philadelphia. Too right, because Dawnie's learning essential Italian for a holiday. Blondie thinks this is very romantic.

This actually provokes Large and Lovely to say: "can I excite you with an exuberant portion of cool creamy pure Philadelphia, passionately mounted on a ciabatta roll?" Sounds like "dilated to be at your cervix" to me. This is very verbal advertising. We're well away with the metaphor as a knife scoops the cool creamy pure substance; we're into soft-focus lingering looks and fluttering tongues.

Blondie can't bear it. "Do they eat like that at every meal?" she asks, poignant with arousal. Dawnie says she certainly hopes so, wolfing down her roll. Blondie drops her apple.

Two girls united solely by an illicit passion for packaged cream cheese is quite a theme, and the directors have used it to great effect. Everyone knows the Philadelphia girls - and the passionate theme is unmistakeable. I imagine it's sold quite a lot of cheese.

! Video supplied by Tellex Commercials

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