Tuesday 16 February 1999
Nottinghamians suggest: Personal-space-preserver in rush-hour crush; hang on phone wires as weather vanes; stuff down chimneys, handle protruding, as barn owl perches (Ms C Penn). Drop-in centre for spiders, garden cloche to force rhubarb, campfire multiple muffin-toaster (Eric Dunkley). Post- Goose-Fair litter spike, lace loom, wind-assisted Raleigh bicycle wheel, (Clair Hubble). Saturday Fight and Sunday Mourning (Ellen Sally Doe). Arrows for The Rainbow (Dee Ayshe Lorentz).
Line with pubic hair to make symbolic love nest (Jane Reeves); place on cranium, be a Teletubby (Len Clarke); as preventive collar to treat chronic nose-pickers (Bill Palmer). Monty Pylon in Lilliput, badminton shuttlecock in Brobdingnag, runner-bean frame in Hanging Gardens of Babylon (Annie Bissett). Wind-generators in millennial collapse of public services (Pat Gould). To protect ozone layer from CFC (Susan Tomes).
Transport to and from MaryPoppinsLand, cf Amsterdam's white bicycle scheme (Tony McCoy O'Grady). Wendy wigwam, garden clothes-drier, abacus for base- 8 maths (Bruce Birchall), bird bath, waterproof poncho, transportable New Age font (James A Kelly). Junior crop-circle-maker, novelty lampshade, make join-the-dot puzzles (Simon Daniels); waterproof covers for traffic cones, brushes for chimney sweeps, parachutes for Kamikaze pilots, (Colin O'Hare).
Prop for Singin' in the Rain, starring Yllek Eneg (Colin Archer) As an Etuhcarap, to ferry passengers to hovering aircraft; for inverted snobs; accessory for Worzel Gummidge's summer outfit; vessel for Edward Lear's Jumblies (Mike Gifford). To hide a streaker's naughty bits, catch Pennies from Heaven (Andrew Duncan). Integrated float and hook for pike- and shark- fishing (Xavier Sunnov). To trap an escaped budgerigar (Harry Karstens). Art gallery exhibit to win Turner Prize (Paul Turner).
Messrs Daniels, O'Hare, Palmer and Sunnov win Chambers Dictionary of Quotations. Your next challenge: new acronyms for old, thus BBC = Bland, Boring, Cosy. Write to Creativity, Features, The Independent, 1 Canada Square, Canary Wharf, London E14 5DL; e-mail to Loki.Valhalla@btinternet.com by 25 February. Three prizes of Chambers (one for suggesting the challenge) tba on 2 March. Next week: apt punishments for perpetrators of unwanted inventions.
To mark Tolstoy's 186th birthdaybooks
Arts & Ents blogs
- 1 British tourists 'murdered' in Thailand: Pair's bloodied bodies found naked on Koh Tao beach
- 2 Vivienne Westwood says 'Yes' to Scottish Independence by declaring: 'I hate England'
- 3 Welcome to Cameroon, where drinking Baileys can lead to imprisonment
- 4 Lego breaks out of the toy box and heads for the gallery
- 5 Vogue under fire for 'Big Booty' article
Daniele Watts: Django Unchained actress detained by Los Angeles police after being mistaken for a prostitute
The political class is doing what Hitler couldn’t – destroying Britain
Scottish independence: Nationalist leader Jim Sillars threatens pro-union companies with 'day of reckoning' after independence
Scottish independence: Yes campaign feels the heat as Alex Salmond's NHS claims come under furious attack
£23m Birmingham cycle scheme is attacked by Tory councillor for not catering to the elderly
Salmond accused of laughing off national debt with ‘what are they going to do: invade?’ joke