Tuesday 13 April 1999
A rustle of horse-thieves (Octavia Leigh); a shirtlessness of racehorses (Paul Turner); a protestation of fox-lovers (Sue Johnson); a concatenation of cat-lovers (Colin O'Hare); a posse of pussies (S.J.); a Caribbean of caribou (B.B.); a humph of sceptics (Luela Palmer); an mmmm of doctors, an aaaah of dentists (Eric Dunkley); a bah bah de doo of jazz singers (Alex).
A lather of TV soaps (Andrew Duncan); a moon of cheeses (Eric Bridgstock); an indifference of waiters (John O'Byrne); an obstruction of bureaucrats (A.D.); a hamper of Planning Officers, a folly of architects (Pe.T.); a junket of MEPs (J.A.); a trough of EU commissioners (John Terris); a grouse of curmudgeons (Brendan J. O'Byrne); a conglumeration of depressives (Colin Archer); a detachment of the autistic (S.T.); a dearth of absentees (M.H.).
A One-I-Made-Earlier of TV cooks, a wife's-away of adult videos (Pa.T.); a gwynne of oranges, a labyrinth of maize (Mike Gifford); a parthenon of columnists (B.J.O'B.); a perplexity of togas (B.B.); a slither of salesmen, a bumshow of builders (Tom Gaunt); a horde of misers (M.H.); a nerd of Trekkies (Martin Brown); a whipround of masochists (C.A.); a gobble of gourmands (J.V.); a snip of castrati (J.T.).
A plummet of sky-divers (Pe.T.); a plunge of deep-sea divers (P. Catton); a cast of plasterers, a shop of informers (Alan Brooker); a culture of bacteriologists (Mary Brooker); a quiescence of yes-men (Matthew White); a corps of applegrowers, a breadth of visionaries (George H. Hudd).
A portmanteau of harbourmasters, a contentment of campers (C.O'H.); an irritation of e-mails (Michael Bryant-Mole); an annoyance of bunched-up buses (A.D.); an aggravation of cold callers, a vexation of double-glazing reps (Shirley Edmundson); a drive-you-potty of political candidates, a Go Yahweh! of Jehovah's Witnesses (Ella O'Key).
Jennifer Moore-Blunt, Luela Palmer and George Hudd each win a copy of the Chambers Dictionary of Quotations. John Lamper wonders: with chess now to be classified as a sport, what misdemeanours might lead to a red card in various mind games? Ideas to Loki. e-mail: Valhalla@btinternet.com. Or write to Creativity, Features, The Independent, 1 Canada Square, London E14 5DL, closing date 22 April.
Results and three more Chambers prizes will be announced on 27 April. Next week's tester: appropriate forms of transport.
Film The critics but sneer but these unfashionable festive films are our favourites
TV We're so close to knowing what happened to Oliver Hughes, but a last-minute bluff crushes expectations
Arts & Ents blogs
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- 2 Antonio Martin shooting: Mayor says there should be 'no comparison' to Ferguson
- 3 Antonio Martin shooting: Police and protesters clash over teenager's death just five miles from Ferguson, Missouri
- 4 Northern Lights above Britain: Stunning Aurora Borealis illuminates Northumberland sky on Christmas Eve
- 5 British actor Idris Elba cannot star as James Bond because he is black, says shock jock Rush Limbaugh
Cruel Woman in Black prank sees cinema-goers terrified by movie poster - watch their reactions
Best underrated Christmas movies: From Trading Places to While You Were Sleeping
Game of Thrones season five: First preview clip shows a beardy Tyrion, a moody Cersei and a distressed Arya
Christmas TV guide 2014: The best shows to watch from Doctor Who to Downton Abbey
Transformers 4 named highest-grossing movie of 2014 ahead of Guardians of the Galaxy
Nigel Farage defends Kerry Smith 'ch***y' comment: 'If you are going for a Chinese, what do you say you’re going for?'
British actor Idris Elba cannot star as James Bond because he is black, says shock jock Rush Limbaugh
Rozanne Duncan: Ukip expels councillor for 'jaw-dropping' comments made in BBC TV interview
Germany anti-Islam protests: 17,000 march on Dresden against 'Islamification of the West'
Panic Saturday: 13 million Britons spend £1.2bn – while 13 million others across the country live in poverty unable to afford food
Ukip member gets into Christmas spirit with Union Flag plea to Santa 'for our country back'