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The Independent Culture
WITH CHESS about to be recognised as a sport (see Hansard, 15 March), readers were asked: what misdemeanours might merit a red card in it and other mind sports?

Chess: declaring oneself a republican and refusing to promote a pawn to a queen (T.M. O'Grady). Time travel forwards to see the opponent's next move and back again to change one's own; dressing as a Turkish automaton and having Garry Kasparov hidden about one's person (Bruce Birchall). For actually trying to mate your opponent during the game (John Lamper). The Nine Pawns Attack; wearing gloves and calling for fingerprint evidence to avoid the "Touch and Move" rule (Clair Hubble).

Bridge: Using a hitman to make the contract (BB). Wearing mirrored clothes (TMO'G).

Monopoly: Getting the Bank of England to restrict the money supply (John O'Byrne). Enlarging it, by using a forger (Mike Gifford). Squatting (CH). Referring your opponent to the M&MC. (Tony Brandon). Kerb-crawling at King's Cross Station (Eric Bridgstock).

Backgammon: Surreptitiously turning the doubling cube into a quadrupling cube (CH). Using dice with measles (BB). Gammoning a vegetarian (EB).

Hangman: Using the Cyrillic alphabet (BB). Promoting the abolition of capital punishment (JO'B). Using acronyms (CH).

Scrabble: Tippex-ing a "Q" into an "O" (TMO'G). Bionic fingers, able to read tiles in bags (CH).

Snakes & Ladders: Using an escalator (JO'B). Using a mongoose (Sue Johnson). A female player with a ladder in her tights (MG). Enlisting the Fire Brigade's assistance (CH).

Go: Using a police loudhailer to announce that a group of men is surrounded, and to tell them to come on out with their hands up (BB).

Cluedo: Hiring a private detective (EB). Murdering one's opponents (SJ).

Patience: Using a marked deck (TB). A display of temper (JL).

Other: Firing a blank at the starter in University Challenge; playing blackjack whilst under 21; modest results at Brag; releasing a cockroach during a beetle drive (Peter Thomas). An e-mail contributor stealing all the envelopes from the Creativity pigeonhole at The Independent (Ella O'Key).

Eric Bridgstock and those Dublin cubes, T.M. O'Grady and John O'Byrne, each win a copy of Chambers Dictionary of Quotations, kindly donated by the publishers, week in, week out, for whose ongoing generosity and support we are most grateful. Recent late deliveries have been caused by a reprint and normal service is hopefully now resumed. Prizewinners: please let me know if yours hasn't come yet.

"There must be 50 ways to leave your lover," Paul Simon once sang. Tony McCoy O'Grady's challenge is: suggest some of them!

Ideas to: Loki.Valhalla@bt or Creativity, The Independent, 1 Canada Square, London E14 5DL, by 6 May. Results and awards of Chambers' dictionaries on 11 May. On 4 May: imaginative uses for sticks of rhubarb