Creativity

COULD ONE ginger things up by asking an ex-Spice Girl whether she prefers cumin with Rosemary or Basil? Would all the Spice Girls be fun to cinnamong? Tristan York is intrigued by both these questions, though neither solves the problem of what to do with an ex-Spice Girl.

The most popular suggestions were teaming up with an old pop group called "Salt 'n' Pepper" and appearing in adverts for Old Spice. Mike Gifford, however, suggests that she should team up with the Tottenham supremo to form a new partnership: "Sugar and Spice".

Ann Furze suggests a job on the bacon counter of a supermarket, on the grounds that "Spice Girl" is an anagram of "Pig-slicer". Nicholas E Gough thinks she has a chance of becoming a dictator, on the grounds that "Geri Halliwell" is an anagram of "A Girl we'll heil".

Steve Prowse suggests that a Spice Girl might get a job as proof-reader in an M&M factory, though he fears she could be fired for throwing out the Ws. Norman Foster wants to throw her, along with Jasper Carrot, Mr Bean, Michael Fish, Helmut Kohl and Popeye's Olive Oyl into a Pol Pot to make a Chinese one-spice stir-fry.

Bert Marks set his answer to a well-known tune:

What shall we do with a ginger Spice Girl (repeated twice)

Now she's left the others?

Send her off with Gazza to find Lord Lucan (repeated twice)

Then she'll no more bother us.

More suggestions in brief: "Geri should change her surname to `Hattrick' to bring new hope to the over-sixties" (Len Clarke); "Send them into Outer Spice" (Alistair Walker); "How to make use of an ex-Spice Girl? Evans only knows." (Frank Middlemass). "She could become a Geri-builder" (R Whiteley); "Put her on the rack" (Robbie Jones); "Send her up to the Mir spice station (Peter Thomas).

Sian Cole has firm ideas on what Spice Girls are good for. As Magy Higgs writes:

Like fingers, Spice Girls come in fives

(Let Sian Cole not start smirking)

Without a single one, their lives

Will very soon stop working.

Several verses later, she concludes:

The group will fold; they're far too old

A thrill to be reborn

So give the ex a cheer (or six)

She's done us a good turn.

Geoffrey Langley draws our attention to Wren's memorial inscription: Si monumentum requiris, circumspice" and therefore recommends that she be enlisted as a singing guide round St Paul's Cathedral: Circum-Spice.

Bruce Birchall looks forward to Geri Halliwell forming a group with veteran stars such as Bob Dylan on Zimmer frame and the Commodores on commodes, to be called "Geri and the Pacemakers". He also suggests that she should settle down, marry a top civil servant and change her name to Geri Mandarin, or team up with Tom Hanks as either Ginger Tom or Tom and Geri.

Nigel Plevin says "She may need thyme to get back to her spice routes" but he thinks she could end up as ambassador to Chilli.

Chambers Dictionary awards to Geoffrey Langley, Norman Foster, and Tristan York.

Next week, we'll be doing exciting things with a dactyl and a spondee. Meanwhile, we seek ideas for useful things to do with a football. Answers to: Creativity, The Independent, 1 Canada Square, Canary Wharf, London E14 5DL.

Arts and Entertainment
Jamie Dornan as Christian Grey in the first-look Fifty Shades of Grey movie still

film
Arts and Entertainment
Sue Perkins and Mel Giedroyc, centre, are up for Best Female TV Comic for their presenting quips on The Great British Bake Off

TV
Arts and Entertainment
Martin Freeman as Lester Nygaard in the TV adaptation of 'Fargo'

TV
Arts and Entertainment
A scene from Shakespeare in Love at the Noel Coward Theatre
theatreReview: Shakespeare in Love has moments of sheer stage poetry mixed with effervescent fun
PROMOTED VIDEO
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Arts and Entertainment
<p><strong>2008</strong></p>
<p>Troubled actor Robert Downey Jr cements his comeback from drug problems by bagging the lead role in Iron Man. Two further films follow</p>

film
Arts and Entertainment

theatre
Arts and Entertainment
Tycoons' text: Warren Buffett and Bill Gates both cite John Brookes' 'Business Adventures' as their favourite book

books
Arts and Entertainment
Panic! In The Disco's Brendon Urie performs on stage

music
Arts and Entertainment

film
Arts and Entertainment
Keira Knightley and Benedict Cumberbatch star in the Alan Turing biopic The Imitation Game

film
Arts and Entertainment

TV
Arts and Entertainment
Radio 4's Today programme host Evan Davis has been announced as the new face of Newsnight

TV
Arts and Entertainment
Pharrell Williams performing on the Main Stage at the Wireless Festival in Finsbury Park, north London

music
Arts and Entertainment
Carrie Mathison returns to the field in the fourth season of Showtime's Homeland

TV
Arts and Entertainment
Crowds soak up the atmosphere at Latitude Festival

music
Arts and Entertainment
Meyne Wyatt and Caren Pistorus arrive for the AACTA Aawrds in Sydney, Australia

TV
Arts and Entertainment
Rick Astley's original music video for 'Never Gonna Give You Up' has been removed from YouTube

music
Arts and Entertainment
Quentin Blake's 'Artists on the beach'

Artists unveils new exhibition inspired by Hastings beach

art
Arts and Entertainment
MusicFans were left disappointed after technical issues
Arts and Entertainment
'Girl with a Pearl Earring' by Johannes Vermeer, c. 1665
artWhat is it about the period that so enthrals novelists?
Arts and Entertainment
Into the woods: The Merry Wives of Windsor at Petersfield
theatreOpen-air productions are the cue for better box-office receipts, new audiences, more interesting artistic challenges – and a picnic
Arts and Entertainment
James singer Tim Booth
latitude 2014
Arts and Entertainment
Lee says: 'I never, ever set out to offend, but it can be an accidental by-product'
comedy
Arts and Entertainment
tvThe judges were wowed by the actress' individual cooking style
Independent
Travel Shop
the manor
Up to 70% off luxury travel
on city breaks Find out more
santorini
Up to 70% off luxury travel
on chic beach resorts Find out more
sardina foodie
Up to 70% off luxury travel
on country retreats Find out more
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?

ES Rentals

    Independent Dating
    and  

    By clicking 'Search' you
    are agreeing to our
    Terms of Use.

    Screwing your way to the top? Good for Lana Del Rey for helping kill that myth

    Screwing your way to the top?

    Good for Lana Del Rey for helping kill that myth, says Grace Dent
    Will the young Britons fighting in Syria be allowed to return home and resume their lives?

    Will Britons fighting in Syria be able to resume their lives?

    Tony Blair's Terrorism Act 2006 has made it an offence to take part in military action abroad with a "political, ideological, religious or racial motive"
    Beyoncé poses as Rosie the Riveter, the wartime poster girl who became a feminist pin-up

    Beyoncé poses as Rosie the Riveter

    The wartime poster girl became the ultimate American symbol of female empowerment
    The quest to find the perfect pair of earphones: Are custom, 3D printed earbuds the solution?

    The quest to find the perfect pair of earphones

    Earphones don't fit properly, offer mediocre audio quality and can even be painful. So the quest to design the perfect pair is music to Seth Stevenson's ears
    US Army's shooting star: Lt-Col Steven Cole is the man Hollywood calls when it wants to borrow a tank or check a military uniform

    Meet the US Army's shooting star

    Lt-Col Steven Cole is the man Hollywood calls when it wants to borrow a tank or check a military uniform
    Climate change threatens to make the antarctic fur seal extinct

    Take a good look while you can

    How climate change could wipe out this seal
    Should emergency hospital weddings be made easier for the terminally ill?

    Farewell, my lovely

    Should emergency hospital weddings be made easier?
    Man Booker Prize 2014 longlist: Crowdfunded novel nominated for first time

    Crowdfunded novel nominated for Booker Prize

    Paul Kingsnorth's 'The Wake' is in contention for the prestigious award
    Vladimir Putin employs a full-time food taster to ensure his meals aren't poisoned

    Vladimir Putin employs a full-time food taster

    John Walsh salutes those brave souls who have, throughout history, put their knives on the line
    Tour de France effect brings Hollywood blockbusters to Yorkshire

    Tour de France effect brings Hollywood blockbusters to Yorkshire

    A $25m thriller starring Sam Worthington to be made in God's Own Country
    Will The Minerva Project - the first 'elite' American university to be launched in a century - change the face of higher learning?

    Will The Minerva Project change the face of higher learning?

    The university has no lecture halls, no debating societies, no sports teams and no fraternities. Instead, the 33 students who have made the cut at Minerva, will travel the world and change the face of higher learning
    The 10 best pedicure products

    Feet treat: 10 best pedicure products

    Bags packed and all prepped for holidays, but feet in a state? Get them flip-flop-ready with our pick of the items for a DIY treatment
    Commonwealth Games 2014: Great Scots! Planes and pipers welcome in Glasgow's Games

    Commonwealth Games 2014

    Great Scots! Planes and pipers welcome in Glasgow's Games
    Jack Pitt-Brooke: Manchester City and Patrick Vieira make the right stand on racism

    Jack Pitt-Brooke

    Manchester City and Patrick Vieira make the right stand on racism
    How Terry Newton tragedy made iron men seek help to tackle their psychological demons

    How Newton tragedy made iron men seek help to tackle their psychological demons

    Over a hundred rugby league players have contacted clinic to deal with mental challenges of game