Creativity: Stop me if you have heard this one before

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The Independent Culture
'PLAYING the Javanese gamelan in the swimming pool at the Athenaeum,' says Mollie Caird in response to our request for jokeless punch lines, while S Cockerill offers: 'And the bishop says, 'I dunno. About four inches'.' His 'One; but the light bulb will be made to suffer for it' is disqualified because we've heard it before.

We did, however, like his: 'That's no problem,' said the snake, 'here's one I made earlier'.' Would the young ladies who sent in the punch lines about the barrel and the Christmas stocking please see me afterwards. Our database indicates that these emanate from genuine jokes and are very rude.

As for Geoffrey Langley's: 'Then she said 'It doesn't stand for post-coital, and in any case, your flies are undone,' the least said the better. Another that had to be rejected as being the punch line of an old joke was David Godfrey's: 'And it turned out that not only did he buy it in Thresher's, he had an account there and rented the room above the shop.' But we laughed at his: 'PS How about a large cash prize for this?'

We nearly split our sides with mirth too at Richard Brockman's: 'I'm so sorry. I thought you were an American,' but were a little perplexed by both Peter Ward's: 'There's no VAT on doorbells,' and Richard Lyne's: 'And so, when they came to dig it up, they found it had only three feet.' Joanne Shipton points out that: 'To get to the other side' is a well- known punch line for which no joke apparently exists.

Steph and Paul sign off with: 'And that was the last time she used an automatic cheese-grater,' or 'Fidel Castro, Andy Pandy and Germaine Greer.' B O'Riley offers: 'The Irishman said: 'Wasn't it Frege's Berggriftsschrift?' '

Next week, we shall report on your ideas for tea-strainers. In the meantime, we'd like your ideas for things to do with the Channel tunnel. Or jokes that fit the above punch lines, if you prefer.

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