Day Out

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It's very important that I begin the day without a hangover and without hairy shoulders. I'd get up early in my flat in Hackney and go to the Geffrye Museum cafe, London E2, ideally for a spinach omelette and a bloody Mary, but they don't sell alcohol or omelettes. It's a museum of British interiors and it's got a very nice herb garden. Then I'd do a trolley dash in Agnes B, WC2 (071-379 1992) in Soho and everything would fit me. The next thing would be to spend 20 minutes trawling up and down Old Compton Street, waving at people I sort of know but don't want to talk to. Then a nip of French wine at The French House, Dean St, W1 (071-437 2799) with all the other alcoholics.

Thence to The Eagle (071-837 1353) in Farringdon Rd with my god-daughter, Lola. The food is all cooked in front of you in a big grill, it's very friendly and relaxed - good, fresh, rough Italian food. After this, I'd have a lie down. Then off to the Sebright Arms, Sebright Passage, E2 (071-729 0937) where you see traditional music-hall. It's a fantastic place, because it's full of unreconstructed old women with white poodles and it's free to get in. Bit of singsong, it's not a place to pose. I'd take a couple of minor celebrities, probably Judith Chalmers and Gyles Brandreth. Then, for a double whammy, I'd go to the Peasant, St John's St, E1 (071-336 7726) where I'd meet eight minor celebrities. More rough Italian food. The laughter of minor celebrities would fill the room as they told stories about things that went wrong in panto. Then I'd be driven round the deserted city by a sex god.

Graham Norton appears in 'Charlie's Angels Go to Hell', Thurs & Fri at the Warehouse Theatre, Dingwall Rd, Croydon (081-680 4060)

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