Arrive in Nottingham, get a ticket for Neville's Island at Nottingham Playhouse. See the Castle and have a drink in The Trip to Jerusalem, the oldest pub in Britain, carved out of the castle battlements, and ask (nicely) to be shown the subterranean caverns.
For a laugh, go round The Tales of Robin Hood, a multi-media experience where you sit in a cart and are pulled around various medieval scenes complete with appropriate historical odours including rotting cabbage and something (so I'm informed) akin to Femfresh. Stand dwarfed by the big, civic city-centre architecture. Have Gewurtztraminer, oysters and smoked haddock in the Loch Fyne Oyster Bar (0602 508481), King's Street then fly a kite from the hill in Arnold Hill Park.
Have a pre-theatre drink and watch the sunset from the Penthouse Bar of The Royal Hotel (0602 414444) (demand nibbles). Go to the Nottingham Playhouse and have another pre-theatre drink in The Limelight bar. Ask about excellent guest beers, or better still drink them. Enjoy Neville's Island, but gentlemen, do not use the lower level toilets during the interval as they smell. Give standing ovation and throw cash on to the stage. Have delightful post-theatre supper in Il Padriro's, (0602 780565) 10 Alfreton Rd, (fab straciatella, brill Amarone) or the excellent Raja Tandoori (0602 622410) on Mansfield Rd.
Don't blame me for spending so much money. If you've enjoyed yourself send more cash. If you haven't, try Venice or Antigua.
Tony Slattery in 'Neville's Island' at Nottingham Playhouse to 19 Feb (0602 419419)
(Photograph omitted)Reuse content