Monday 27 December 1993
I work evenings so the days are very valuable. Sad to say I don't play golf, but if it was a nice day I'd go out on my motorbike. I go down the lanes for about three miles then get a headache and come back. I'd recover by having crumpets with cheese and tomato chutney or Branston Pickle topping, and sit in the lounge with a cup of tea, thinking about my debts again. I love a good show and if I could I'd go down to London to see something like Five Guys Named Moe. Not Aspects of Love - that's full of poofs.
I'd better not name the restaurants I go to, but I do like the Ostler's Grill at the Royal Hotel Kirkby where they do me a nice charcoal grill steak - I take my wife. Occasionally I go to the Wagon and Horses, a local pub where I play a wicked Dixieland trumpet. The Riverside Jazz Band allow me to play with them. When they see me coming they usually shut the door because I'm actually not very good. Then there's a pub called The Dragon's Head in Whittington where they do a nice local brew. They're all comedians in there. I'm on the local brew diet - I lose three days. In fact I've just got back from Madeira where it was 80 degrees so an ideal day would be to piss off back there.
Jim Bowen appears in 'The Comedians Christmas Cracker', tomorrow night 10.45pm ITV.
Arts & Ents blogs
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- 2 Joan Rivers: 'Palestinians deserve to be dead'
- 3 Daily Show's Jon Stewart destroys Fox News for its Ferguson coverage
- 4 ALS ice bucket challenge co-founder Corey Griffin drowns, aged 27
- 5 Botched ice bucket challenge leaves man critically injured after plane drops hundreds of gallons of water
Great British Bake Off 2014: Diana Beard quits after falling ill
Nicki Minaj suffers wardrobe malfunction during MTV VMAs performance with Ariana Grande and Jessie J
Homer Simpson takes the ALS ice bucket challenge because of course he does
Friends reunion: Jennifer Aniston, Lisa Kudrow and Courteney Cox perform mini sketch on Jimmy Kimmel Live
Great British Bake Off embroiled in Baked Alaska 'sabotage' scandal
Exclusive: We share blame for creating 'jihad generation', says Muslim strategist
Robin Williams Emmys tribute led by Billy Crystal criticised for including 'racist' joke about Muslim woman
The Rotherham child abuse scandal is a tale of apologists, misogyny and double standards
Scottish independence TV debate: Pumped-up Alex Salmond bounces back in bruising second round against Alistair Darling
Do you realise just how foolish the UK looks?
Ukip Douglas Carswell defection: Tory MP jumps ship to join Nigel Farage
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