Monday 27 December 1993
I work evenings so the days are very valuable. Sad to say I don't play golf, but if it was a nice day I'd go out on my motorbike. I go down the lanes for about three miles then get a headache and come back. I'd recover by having crumpets with cheese and tomato chutney or Branston Pickle topping, and sit in the lounge with a cup of tea, thinking about my debts again. I love a good show and if I could I'd go down to London to see something like Five Guys Named Moe. Not Aspects of Love - that's full of poofs.
I'd better not name the restaurants I go to, but I do like the Ostler's Grill at the Royal Hotel Kirkby where they do me a nice charcoal grill steak - I take my wife. Occasionally I go to the Wagon and Horses, a local pub where I play a wicked Dixieland trumpet. The Riverside Jazz Band allow me to play with them. When they see me coming they usually shut the door because I'm actually not very good. Then there's a pub called The Dragon's Head in Whittington where they do a nice local brew. They're all comedians in there. I'm on the local brew diet - I lose three days. In fact I've just got back from Madeira where it was 80 degrees so an ideal day would be to piss off back there.
Jim Bowen appears in 'The Comedians Christmas Cracker', tomorrow night 10.45pm ITV.
TV Jungle security stepped up after murder and 'suspicious death' near to camp
Jeff Fletcher found fame in 1990s
'At times I thought he was me'film
Review: One Direction, Fourmusic
Review: The World of Ice and Firebooks
Arts & Ents blogs
- 1 Sarah Vine criticises lesbian mother Jack Monroe: 'If she was unsure about her sexuality, she should have taken greater precautions'
- 2 Black Friday 2014: Opening times for Asda, John Lewis, PC World, GAME and Argos
- 3 To help fuel their propaganda machine against the poor, our government has now decided to redefine the word 'welfare'
- 4 Jeremy Hunt: 'I took my children to A&E because I didn't want to wait for GP appointment'
- 5 Girl, 7, gets Tesco to remove 'stupid' sign suggesting superheroes are 'for boys'
Jurassic World trailer: Chris Pratt stars in full-length trailer with Bryce Dallas and Ty Simpkins
I'm A Celebrity 2014: Jungle security stepped up after murder and 'suspicious death' near to camp
Zoella: YouTube sensation Zoe Sugg's debut novel set to become overnight bestseller
Nightclubbing with Richard Young: The story behind his latest book of celebrity photographs
Naked free runner captured in breathtaking photographs above London's streets
Rochester by-election: Ukip gains second MP as Tory defector Mark Reckless holds seat
'Beast of Bolsover' Dennis Skinner takes Ukip MP Mark Reckless to task moments after he is sworn in
Rochester by-election: Labour MP Emily Thornberry resigns after posting white van and England flags tweet
The young are the new poor: Sharp increase in number of under-25s living in poverty, while over-65s are better off than ever
Tamir Rice: 12-year-old boy playing with fake gun dies after being shot by Ohio police
Revealed: How the world gets rich – from privatising British public services