Monday 27 December 1993
I work evenings so the days are very valuable. Sad to say I don't play golf, but if it was a nice day I'd go out on my motorbike. I go down the lanes for about three miles then get a headache and come back. I'd recover by having crumpets with cheese and tomato chutney or Branston Pickle topping, and sit in the lounge with a cup of tea, thinking about my debts again. I love a good show and if I could I'd go down to London to see something like Five Guys Named Moe. Not Aspects of Love - that's full of poofs.
I'd better not name the restaurants I go to, but I do like the Ostler's Grill at the Royal Hotel Kirkby where they do me a nice charcoal grill steak - I take my wife. Occasionally I go to the Wagon and Horses, a local pub where I play a wicked Dixieland trumpet. The Riverside Jazz Band allow me to play with them. When they see me coming they usually shut the door because I'm actually not very good. Then there's a pub called The Dragon's Head in Whittington where they do a nice local brew. They're all comedians in there. I'm on the local brew diet - I lose three days. In fact I've just got back from Madeira where it was 80 degrees so an ideal day would be to piss off back there.
Jim Bowen appears in 'The Comedians Christmas Cracker', tomorrow night 10.45pm ITV.
ReviewThese heroes in a half shell should have been left in hibernation
Sek, k'athjilari! (That’s “yes, definitely” to non-native speakers).TV
Arts & Ents blogs
- 1 Jack the Ripper: Scientist who claims to have identified notorious killer has 'made serious DNA error'
- 2 Banksy arrest hoax: Internet duped by fake report claiming street artist's identity has been revealed
- 3 Drink alcohol and eat meat to improve male fertility - but cut down on coffee, studies suggest
- 4 Former East 17 frontman Brian Harvey turns up at Downing Street and 'demands to speak to Prime Minister'
- 5 The inventor of the Facebook 'like' button says he never made a 'dislike' button because he feared the 'unfortunate consequences'
Doctor Who, Flatline - review: Clara isn’t half bad as the Time Lord
Downton Abbey review series 5, episode 5: Period drama falls disappointingly flat
Star Wars memorabilia called a 'bit of plastic' on Antiques Roadshow by Fiona Bruce valued at £50,000
Fury, film review: Brad Pitt is intriguing as unsympathetic war hero
Star Wars Episode 7 has almost finished filming
Cameron is warned 'no possibility' of UK reducing immigration and that bid to bring in quota on migrant workers would be illegal
Residents should throw a street party and mix with immigrant neighbours, councils told
Russell Brand threatened with arrest after filming outside Fox News headquarters
Amal Alamuddin calls for the return of the Elgin Marbles from Britain: 'Injustice has persisted for too long'
London bus driver 'kicks gay couple off for kissing'
Lord Freud: Tory welfare minister apologises after saying disabled people are 'not worth’ the minimum wage