Day Out

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'I don't like to spend too much time in Macclesfield, I tend to pop in to see what's going on. I live on the east side and I do a lot of cycling and walking. If I've got plenty of time I'll go for a walk up to Forest Chapel, which is an old chapel built for farmers in Macclesfield Forest about three or four miles away. Otherwise I'll cycle up to the Cat and Fiddle which is the second highest pub in England. It's about 1795 ft high.

I don't often do shows in Macclesfield, I go further afield. Twice a week is quite enough. There are certain things I have to avoid before a show, like Coca-Cola, which causes me to me burp and belch. You need to be able to catch your breath and control the bottom end of the operation so to speak. I'll eat chicken curry before a performance. The Nasib Tandoori on Chestergate is as good as anywhere. If I can though I'll go to the Rusholme district of Manchester. All you can see for miles is curry houses. It's totally curried.

Macclesfield hasn't got a nightclub. The centre is still very working-class while the outskirts are middle-class. There's a clash of identity. Night-life is like a night out in Barnsley only a bit softer if you know what I mean. At midnight you get a football-size crowd outside the Waters Green fish bar which stretches the length of the market place. I go to watch for a laugh. They're all trying to get in and they've all had ten pints. If it went off it would be a full-scale riot.

Shopping-wise the local market is fine. I buy 2.2 air rifle darts from my local cycle shop. I fire them out of a peashooter. I also get lots of cheap talcum powder from Clegg's Right-Price Toiletries on Mill Street. I use it for my environmental act.'

Mr Methane (Paul Oldfield), the farting funnyman, tours with Charlie Chuck, starting Coventry University 22 Jan

(Photograph omitted)