e-mail > female

u really have to curb yr boyfriends new labour pretensions

From ClarissaH@greatestates. co.uk

Jim, just to let u known mum is still keen on this idea of a pic of u and me for granny's 80th. god knows why. having to look at yr ugly mug on the mantelpiece every day seems v unfair for an octogenarian. but are u free to come up to london next w/end. i think i've found a place.

From jimharlowe@cam.ac.uk

love to. anything for dear old granny. only slight prob...

From ClarissaH

i know mum is stumping up the money for yr fare so don't try to sponge off me as well...

From jimharlowe

damn. ok where is this place

From ClarissaH

come round to mine. it's a friend of anna's who is said to be v good. so no excuses. and wear something nice as well. dont think mum will appreciate grungy tshirt.

From jimharlowe

ok msg received and understood.

From annahowe@richard sons.com

Hi clarissa - have u done it yet?

From ClarissaH

done what?

From annahowe

u know quite well what.

From ClarissaH

no i haven't rung rob yet. hated bossman solmes is lurking in the vicinity so not moment for personal calls. he still keeps on shooting me meaningful looks and clearing his throat. i am studiously ignoring him.

think i may give up smoking as i feel as popular as alastair campbell with ministers whenever i walk in there.

From annahowe

david sent me a memo about the untidiness of my flat informing me that he didn't want to hear i'd been briefing and counter-briefing my friends on the state of my bedroom

From ClarissaH

u really are going to have to curb yr boyfriends new labour pretensions. tell him it's not cool to like blair any more.

From annahowe

i did but he said cool britannia was a media myth and he wasn't interested in the govt because of supposed coolness but becos blair is right. dread to think what his mates think if he's like this at work... enuff about david. stop messing around. get this rob thing sorted.

From ClarissaH

ok just think that i may pop out and speak to andrea my therapist first. for the first time her new agey stuff might work.

From annahowe

it'll be first time ever if so...

Later... from ClarissaH

ok andrea was very much on the ball. looked in her astrology bks and finally said: "is his star sign a fire sign?"

"no idea," i replied

"was he born in the year of the dragon?"

"dont know"

"what is his lifeline like on his palm?"

"search me"

she sighed and paused.

"in that case u just ring him, are very cool on the phone and let him do all the work. make sure he realises it's a privilege that u've deigned to ring him and dont apologise or sound pathetic. make sure u end the phone call first. it always works."

From annahowe

so that's how it works then?

From ClarissaH

well sort of. rang him was cool, distant, pinched myself so that i didnt apologise once. he was quite cool. said sorry about misunderstanding hoped i wd accept his apology for making trouble between such loyal flatmates as christina and me and cd he take me out to lunch next w/end to make peace.

From annahowe

fantastic. and u are sure u didnt take the blame?

From ClarissaH

was just about to and then remembered andrea had told me to get off the phone first. so didnt

From annahowe

well make sure u ring me up after sat lunch then to let me know how it went.

From ClarissaH

will do. must go. can see solmes looming in my direction no doubt to check whether i'm secretly doodling "i luv roger solmes" in my notepad. see u!

Later ... from ClarissaH

o god o god! how cd i have been so stupid. sat afternoon is the time jim's coming up to have his photo taken with me. how am i going to avoid the 2 of them meeting...?