Edinburgh Festival / Day 2: Side View: Miles Kington at the Fringe press show

I'M JUST old enough to remember the Soho of the late 1950s, when girls of the night jostled each other to attract your attention, and offer you 'a bit of fun, dearie'. I'd never met anything like it since, till Sunday, when I got into the Edinburgh Fringe Press Show. The idea is that the person from each Fringe company is allowed to attend, to talk to the press and media people. The sole representative from our group, Antidote Theatre, was actress Becky, appearing in a gripping drama called Answering Spirits at the Pleasance, but the company said to me: 'You're a journalist, of sorts] Get a Press pass] Go in there and tell people about your show] Don't come back till we're famous]'

So I put on a sticker saying PRESS and went into this huge room where about 600 Fringe performers were milling about looking for nice gentleman to offer fun to, and the sight of the Press sticker on my chest front was like an aphrodisiac, only they don't say 'Looking for a good time?', they say, 'Hi. I'm Stephen Keyworth from Manchester and I've written two plays for the Fringe, one being the first ever play about the bone- disease osteoporosis and the other about kidnapping', and all you can stupidly say is, 'Why about osteoporosis?', and when he says, 'I got the idea when my mother contracted it', you find yourself saying, 'Has anyone in your family been kidnapped, then?' and he looks at you oddly, but then there's someone else saying, 'Hi. I'm Peter Moreton and I'm playing Jesus in a new play called Temptations', and someone else says 'Hi, I'm Clive Shilson, I've written West Dreams about Mae West and the actress who plays Mae West is here, but unfortunately she has changed out of her costume and doesn't look so much like Mae West any more', and someone else says, 'Hi, Miles, persuaded anyone to come to the show yet?' - and it's our actress, Becky]

'Well, not really,' I say, 'but I'm intrigued by this new play about Mae West, and there's a guy from Chicago with the Annoyance Theatre presenting a show called Modern Problems in Science, which actually does improvised comedy of scientific problems and sounds really good . . .' and Becky looks at me queerly. We haven't spoken since, but then I haven't really spoken to anyone since, in case they have a show to plug.

If someone came up to me and said, 'Looking for some fun, dearie?' I'd probably say, 'Yes, if you promise not to mention any shows,' which reminds me, I've got to the end of this piece and I haven't even mentioned our show, Bizarre, at the Pleasance, God, the others will kill me, look, I've got a leaflet somewhere, don't go . . . ]

Arts and Entertainment

Great British Bake Off
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Arts and Entertainment

ebooksNow available in paperback
Arts and Entertainment

ebooks
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
SPONSORED FEATURES

ES Rentals

    Independent Dating
    and  

    By clicking 'Search' you
    are agreeing to our
    Terms of Use.

    Refugee crisis: David Cameron lowered the flag for the dead king of Saudi Arabia - will he do the same honour for little Aylan Kurdi?

    Cameron lowered the flag for the dead king of Saudi Arabia...

    But will he do the same honour for little Aylan Kurdi, asks Robert Fisk
    Our leaders lack courage in this refugee crisis. We are shamed by our European neighbours

    Our leaders lack courage in this refugee crisis. We are shamed by our European neighbours

    Humanity must be at the heart of politics, says Jeremy Corbyn
    Joe Biden's 'tease tour': Could the US Vice-President be testing the water for a presidential run?

    Joe Biden's 'tease tour'

    Could the US Vice-President be testing the water for a presidential run?
    Britain's 24-hour culture: With the 'leisured society' a distant dream we're working longer and less regular hours than ever

    Britain's 24-hour culture

    With the 'leisured society' a distant dream we're working longer and less regular hours than ever
    Diplomacy board game: Treachery is the way to win - which makes it just like the real thing

    The addictive nature of Diplomacy

    Bullying, betrayal, aggression – it may be just a board game, but the family that plays Diplomacy may never look at each other in the same way again
    Lady Chatterley's Lover: Racy underwear for fans of DH Lawrence's equally racy tome

    Fashion: Ooh, Lady Chatterley!

    Take inspiration from DH Lawrence's racy tome with equally racy underwear
    8 best children's clocks

    Tick-tock: 8 best children's clocks

    Whether you’re teaching them to tell the time or putting the finishing touches to a nursery, there’s a ticker for that
    Charlie Austin: Queens Park Rangers striker says ‘If the move is not right, I’m not going’

    Charlie Austin: ‘If the move is not right, I’m not going’

    After hitting 18 goals in the Premier League last season, the QPR striker was the great non-deal of transfer deadline day. But he says he'd preferred another shot at promotion
    Isis profits from destruction of antiquities by selling relics to dealers - and then blowing up the buildings they come from to conceal the evidence of looting

    How Isis profits from destruction of antiquities

    Robert Fisk on the terrorist group's manipulation of the market to increase the price of artefacts
    Labour leadership: Andy Burnham urges Jeremy Corbyn voters to think again in last-minute plea

    'If we lose touch we’ll end up with two decades of the Tories'

    In an exclusive interview, Andy Burnham urges Jeremy Corbyn voters to think again in last-minute plea
    Tunisia fears its Arab Spring could be reversed as the new regime becomes as intolerant of dissent as its predecessor

    The Arab Spring reversed

    Tunisian protesters fear that a new law will whitewash corrupt businessmen and officials, but they are finding that the new regime is becoming as intolerant of dissent as its predecessor
    King Arthur: Legendary figure was real and lived most of his life in Strathclyde, academic claims

    Academic claims King Arthur was real - and reveals where he lived

    Dr Andrew Breeze says the legendary figure did exist – but was a general, not a king
    Who is Oliver Bonas and how has he captured middle-class hearts?

    Who is Oliver Bonas?

    It's the first high-street store to pay its staff the living wage, and it saw out the recession in style
    Earth has 'lost more than half its trees' since humans first started cutting them down

    Axe-wielding Man fells half the world’s trees – leaving us just 422 each

    However, the number of trees may be eight times higher than previously thought
    60 years of Scalextric: Model cars are now stuffed with as much tech as real ones

    60 years of Scalextric

    Model cars are now stuffed with as much tech as real ones