My Edinburgh: Tim Key, Comedian
Wednesday 18 August 2010
I went to a junk shop today and held out a £20 note and the guy asked me what sort of thing I was after. I handed him the money and said I didn't really mind.
That's the problem with this job – and Edinburgh in particular – it's just a lot of incidents like that, which constantly reaffirm the fact that you are, more or less, a nonsense figure.
I needed the stuff for my show – because I like to have interesting stuff spilt across the stage and then balance on it – but my story's not unique. It's a pretty regular occurrence to be carrying, say, an abacus or 20 mops, and see a fellow performer across the street carrying, say, a large inflatable snowman. An embarrassed look is exchanged. You both think, "I hope it's worth it, mate".
The people of Edinburgh don't seem to mind either. It's clear that the city has been overrun by such clowns. Last August I bought four cans of beer, a Victoria sponge and a tomato from the same man every day for a month. Never any reaction. Just assumed that was my vibe and let me get on with it.
When I first came up I would chuckle at myself and think things like "Ha – I've bought a Sharon fruit and a laundry basket – brilliant". But you become beleaguered. This year I bowed my head when I offered the junkshopkeeper my money. It's embarrassing. He gave me a typewriter, a bell shaped like a lady and an 8 iron. I think they'll look great, to be fair.
Tim Key performs his Edinburgh Comedy Award-winning show 'The Slutcracker' at Pleasance Dome (0131 556 6550) to 21 August, and in The Invisible Dot Club by the Sea (0131 623 3030) on 20 August
Threat of 'catastrophic cascade of collisions' must be averted, warn scientists
Arts & Ents blogs
Dennis Hopper's lost sixties photo album found
What are the best first lines in fiction?
Russell Crowe's Noah banned in three Arab countries before worldwide premiere
Sharknado 2: Former WWE wrestler Kurt Angle to fight second wave of flying sharks
Call The Midwife: Jessica Raine leaves in series three finale
Britain's top vet sparks controversy with call for ban on slashing animals' throats in 'ritual' slaughters for halal and kosher meat products
Poor 'live like animals' says Boris's privately educated sister after going on 'poverty safari'
Exclusive: Impact of immigrants on British workers ‘negligible’
Vince Cable: Teachers 'know absolutely nothing' about the world of work
Ukraine crisis: Russia pledges to 'retaliate against sanctions' as Ukrainian president says Crimea vote will not be recognised
The quiet diplomat: Catherine Ashton - recognised and admired in all the world’s troubled countries, yet ridiculed at home
- 1 Australian man Rod Sommerville reacts to bite from deadly snake by reaching for cold beer
- 2 Pakistan vs Paul Smith: Sandal-wearers bemused by famed British designer's attempts to sell traditional Peshawari chappal-style shoes for the distinctly untraditional sum of £300
- 3 North Korea elections: Kim Jong-un wins 100% of the vote
- 4 Steve Irwin’s final words: Cameraman present at death opens up about deadly stingray attack for the first time
- 5 Sharknado 2: Former WWE wrestler Kurt Angle to fight second wave of flying sharks