Eurovision: The worst lyrics in the contest's history from 'your bum is part of you' to 'stay cool in the swimming pool'

Not forgetting 'the cat is happy, the dog is happy' from Russia's 2012 entry Buranovskiye Babushki (above)

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The Independent Culture

Believe it or not, Eurovision was set up to “stimulate the output of high quality songs in the field of popular music” – not that you’d know from some of the corkers that have come out of the song contest to date.

Take a look at the worst offenders:

Austria: Trackshittaz (semi-final, 2012) Woki mit deim Popo

“Your bum has feelings, your bum is a part of you, Don’t put it on chairs, your bum has an opinion, yeah”

Montenegro:, Euro Neuro (semi-final, 2012), ‘Rambo Amadeus’

“I got only one rule, always stay cool like a swimming pool”

Netherlands: Teach-In (winners, 1975), ‘Ding-a-Dong’

“And you walk along with your ding-dang-dong”

Germany: Lena (winner, 2010) ‘Satellite’

“I even painted my toe nails for you

I did it just the other day”

“I bought new underwear, they blue

And I wore ‘em just the other day”

Finland: Lordi, (winner, 2007) ‘Hard Rock Hallelujah’

 “It’s the Arockalypse…On the Day of Rockoning”

Latvia: Marie N (winner, 2002), ‘I Wanna’

“You make me sweat”

Estonia: Tanel Padar, Dave Benton & 2XL (winners, 2001), ‘Everybody’

“And roll the carpet from the floor –

 Haha, carpet from the floor, yeah”

Sweden: Herreys (winners, 1984), ‘Diggi-loo, Diggi-ley’

“Diggi-loo diggi-ley, everybody’s looking at me"

Austria: Alf Poier (6th place, 2003), ‘Weil der Mensch zählt’

“The difference between people

Between apes and primates

It-it’s not much bigger

Than between noodles and pancake stripes

Pancake stripes”

Russia: Buranovskiye Babushki (2nd place, 2012), ‘Party for everybody’

“The cat is happy, the dog is happy, the cat is happy, the dog is happy, we are in a wonderful mood and very happy, we are in a wonderful mood, oh joy”

Ireland: Dustin the Turkey (semi-finals 2008), ‘Irlande Douze Points’

“Drag acts and bad acts and Terry Wogan’s wig

Mad acts and sad acts, it was Johnny Logan’s gig”

“Block votes! Shock votes! Give us your 12 today”

“Yes it’s Bulgaria we love you Belarus, Georgia,

Montenegro, Moldova, Albania, Croatia, Poland,

Russia, Ukraine, Macedonia, don’t forget Turkey,

Hungary, Estonia, Slovakia, Armenia, Bosnia & Herzegovina

and don’t forget the Swiss….. Cheese”

 

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