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From

ClarissaH@greatestates. co.uk

Hi anna

christina just sent me this joke >> why are men are like computers - they're hard to figure out and never have enough memory<<.

hope that means she's over one night passion with rob and we can return to normal in the flat. C xx

annahowe@richardsons.com

ok i can trump that

> > Why are men are like horoscopes - They always tell you what to do and they are usually wrong<<. what did the flat say about yr new pay rise and all-round excellence?

ClarissaH

um haven't told them about it yet

annahowe

why not they'd be really pleased for u?

ClarissaH

well waltzed home meaning to tell jon and christina yah boo sucks my life isn't complete waste of space. walked into living room about to say "da da! i am a success in the world's crappest job" when i saw that jon was holding the gas bill. could not admit pay rise or he'd have nabbed me for my share ...

annahowe

god u're thick. yr going to have to pay it in the end ... so why not get it over and done with? apart from that is all rosy at home?

ClarissaH

well darling brother jim turned up skint as usual with repulsive Majorcan toy donkey and request for ticket back to cambridge. he got there before i got home from work and has made best mates with jon

annahowe

jon talking to yr spotty student brother? not quite his normal taste ...

ClarissaH

dont think jon's interested in jim like that. u shd have heard them together, both completely stoned giggling hysterically at anything i said. started droning on about obscure dance acts (eg jon's band Spew) and scene in majorca. "i thought ibiza was meant to be better," i said unwisely.

when they had stopped biting sofa in laughter that i might know anything jim spluttered "clarissa u went to ibiza in 1992 with anna. i think they've moved on from club 18-30 since then."

"it was not a bloody 18-30 holiday," i raged. "i have never been that desperate. u are a complete toad."

annahowe

cmon clarissa it was certainly v similar and we had a good time. lots of free drinks bought by sad men we ran off from etc. why didn't christina support u?

ClarissaH

went into her room to find her. it was in complete darkness. asked her if she wanted a coffee. got a muffled sniffle in reply.

"chris? u ok?" i said

then she burst into tears "leave me alone, leave me alone you wouldn't understand".

it all came out then. rob had just been meaningless excellent sex (yes she had to get the excellent bit in - wasn't that much out of character) but ultimately unfulfilling. she was sick and tired of marketing and wanted to get married and have babies.

annahowe

christina with a baby???? poor kid would go to nursery with no social skills except making a martini to die for

ClarissaH

"i don't feel fulfilled as a woman. i need to get in touch with myself more. i want to feel i make a difference."

"but christina u do," i told her finding a half empty btl of wine and pouring us glasses. "u're so poised the centre of attention at every party. u make people laugh, u always know what to do."

"noooooo," she wailed.

"yes!" i said. "really we all feel insecure at times. but really u have nothing to worry about. everyone admires u and u're doing so well at work. u really wouldn't want to pack it in. look at me. i can't say the same."

"yes," she said thoughtfully. "god i really would feel suicidal if i had yr job."

took the rest of the bottle and left.

annahowe

to cheer u up >> why can't men get mad cow disease? >> Because they are all pigs. see u at my party!!!!!

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