Fast Track: e-mail > female

Go straight into his office and tell him it's sexual harassment, the old perv
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The Independent Culture
From ClarissaH@greatestates. co.uk

hello anna are u there? can u let me know if u get this? our system is really playing up and i keep on getting emails for IT and advertising. god knows where mine are going.

From annahowe@richardsons. com

body here, mind i'm not so sure about. combination of sunny weekend and celebrations over london mayor referendum.

From ClarissaH

sorry cd not make yr referendum party. wot was it like?

From annahowe

nightmare. had to go as yr fave new labour character. made fatal mistake of going as harriet harman so no one spoke to me all night in case their popularity ratings dropped.

From ClarissaH

thought u were going as clare short?

From annahowe

david wouldn't let me. said her new labour credentials weren't good enuff. i said that i'd go as tony lloyd then with a mercenary over my back and he wouldn't talk to me for an hour, even when i said i'd explain to everyone i didn't know what the soldier was doing there. anyway got revenge. he went as alastair campbell so everyone tried to beat him up and i had perfect excuse for not talking to him. actually i met a rather nice frank dobson, but more of that later ...

From ClarissaH

don't want to be depressive but apart from the mayor stuff didn't think labour had done that well in the local elections ...

From annahowe

a) not a party, a gathering

b) no champagne only rough chianti

c) didn't want tory geeks in the street to think that we were at all depressed by result

From ClarissaH

point taken. i've got granny's 80th next week which i'm sure can't be any better than that ... mum said ominously that i had to wear a nice dress yuk yuk yuk ... and i'm meant to be seeing rob after christina "explained" horrendous misunderstanding between him and me over hated bossman solmes ...

From annahowe

so she didn't shag him then?

From ClarissaH

no she promises not, just got a bit drunk and fell asleep on his sofa (hmmm) ... o god, forget mummy-friendly dress, forget rob, have just received following devastating email from solmes:

"yr teasing has finally worn me down. get your cute body into my office and let me show you how a property needs a thorough going over. yours big boy."

From annahowe

go straight into his office and tell him it's sexual harassment, the old perv.

From ClarissaH

i did. he looked most surprised and disturbed to see me.

"what are u doing here?" he asked crossly.

"u asked me to."

"no i didn't"

"yes u did u said u wanted to give me a thorough going over."

he went a bit pale then: "clarissa i will not have u making these foul things up. now go to your desk and do some work for a change instead of fantasising about a relationship which does not exist."

From annahowe

it's obvious then!

From ClarissaH

what?

From annahowe

he's sent the email to the wrong person.

From ClarissaH

urgh who wd go near solmes??? told emma and martina in the smoking room and had a good laugh although martina drank some of her lilt the wrong way and choked so much she had to go back to her desk so i cdn't find out how horrible he was at the housing conference.

From annahowe

so who can it be?

From ClarissaH

who knows, haven't spotted anyone in the office with a minus IQ.

From ClarissaH

o god another one arrived. definitely haywire system this morning.

"dear bunnykins i am looking forward to a good bit of conveyancing with you, you sexy bitch. come and gazump me any time you like. still can't forget that south coast w/end. love, your caveman."

o god i can't believe it.

From annahowe

what?

From ClarissaH

there's only one person in this office who's been to brighton with solmes recently...o god how cd she? o god he calls her bunnykins! and o god wot will happen when they realise i've found out ...

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