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Tune in, turn on and gross out over the coming months with the vigorously vulgar Baseketball. By the creators of South Park, Baseketball has two athletes revitalising the commercialised wasteland of American sports with a version of basketball that allows competitors to distract opponents by yelling abuse or indulging in distracting behaviour. It's a verbal and physical assault on the political correctness of most sports dramas, and features Ernest Borgnine (above) as a sports entrepreneur who meets an untimely death at the hands of a hotdog.

Opening in November, the deliriously tasteless There's Something About Mary stars Ben Stiller as a terminal geek who falls for uber-babe Cameron Diaz. Sadly, fate intervenes in the form of an accident, leaving Stiller's manhood mangled in his zipper. Given that this is directed by Dumb and Dumber's Farrelly brothers, we get the full works, prosthetic penis and all.

The career of Francis Ford Coppola (above) continues its journey downhill with the news that the director is being paid not to make a film. With Warner Brothers withdrawing their support, his cherished dream of making a live-action version of Pinocchio will now never come to fruition. $80 million? A snip.

Liese Spencer