Agenda: Gravity;; the Pope; The Returned; sports sexism; Mornington Crescent


Middle-class problems: Mornington Crescent


"Umm, de-de-de-dum-deh ..... Ealing Broadway."

"Ohh, ohh, ohh, ooohh."


"Oh, hold up, hold up."

"No, no, no, no, it's the western approach, it's wide open there now."


"Barons Court short."




"Can he do that?"

He surely can. This, ladies and gents of the non-I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue-listening order, is from a transcript of a charming game on the Radio 4 show, entitled "Mornington Crescent".

Charming, that is, for anyone who grew up listening to it with mummy and daddy and fell about to its whimsy; because if you come to it late and are trying to work out the rules, you'll be stymied: there are none. The players simply name stations on the Tube until one utters the Northern Line's least exciting stop. The skill comes in making it seem as though it's a game of strategy. Ha, and indeed, ha.

Now, the best of "middle-class humour", as diverse and hard to pinpoint as that might be, is fantastic. Michael McIntyre's observations are as smooth as Stewart Lee's battering of the mass market is acerbic. But this sort of "if you're not in the club, we're not telling you how to join" nonsense in the name of comedy flies in the very face of middle-class politeness.

Not that we care – never wanted to join your stupid club anyway.

*Walks off in huff*