Never mind Spectre, James Bond should have died within 7 minutes of Skyfall

Take a look at the moments that should have spelled the end for 007 in Daniel Craig's last movie

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The Independent Culture

Daniel Craig may be back in the lead as James Bond, breaking box office records with Spectre, but of course, everybody’s favourite secret agent should really be dead.

The iconic spy puts cats and their nine lives to shame, having somehow survived the past 50 years of innumerable car chases, shoot-outs and dramatic explosions.

However, while the hit franchise is pure fictional, silver screen fun, medical professionals have revealed that 007 would have died within just seven minutes of 2012 blockbuster Skyfall after being shot with a depleted uranium shell.

Further near-death experiences throughout the movie make his already slim chances of survival even smaller, so let’s take a look at how Bond would have met his maker in far less forgiving real life.

Bond shot in chest (7 minutes)

Being hit with uranium, commonly used to destroy army tanks, would have “turned his lungs inside out and killed him”, the panel of experts told Total Film. Even if he somehow escaped that grisly fate, fragments of the uranium shell left in his body would “greatly increase his cancer risk”.

Bond falls 80m from a train roof into a river after being shot (12 minutes)

This memorable scene could easily have left Bond with a severed spinal cord or broken neck. Drowning was also a strong possibility.

Daniel Craig and Ola Rapace fight on the roof of a train in Skyfall

Bond removes a bullet from his shoulder himself (31 minutes)

Don't try this at home kids. Performing DIY surgery “risks blood loss, lack of consciousness, nerve and muscle damage and the infection risk is huge”. Consider yourself warned.

Grenades at Bond's estate (1hr 54 minutes)

Perforated eardrums from all those climactic explosions and gunfire, at the very least.

Bond fights under icy water (2hrs 2 minutes)

Bond would have exhausted his oxygen supply in no time while battling a henchman in those freezing Scottish waters, making it unlikely that he’d break the surface in time. “Hypothermia would set in very quickly and he’d struggle to move,” the doctors concluded.


Daniel Craig, somehow still alive in Spectre

Sam Mendes’ hotly-awaited Skyfall follow-up Spectre arrived in UK cinemas on 26 October, also starring Christoph Waltz, Lea Seydoux, Monica Bellucci, Ralph Fiennes, Naomie Harris and Ben Whishaw.