Keith Lemon: The Film (85 mins, 15)
Leigh Francis's fake-tanned, sleazy northern businessman, as seen on ITV2's Celebrity Juice, gets a big-screen caper which will please his fans while baffling and/or disgusting everyone else. The formula is that Lemon is revoltingly rude to various B-list celebrities who try to show what good sports they are by going along with it.
Petit Nicolas (91 mins, PG)
Goscinny and Sempé's "Petit Nicolas" books recount the anarchic hijinks of a young schoolboy and his rough-and-tumble classmates, so it's a shame that Laurent Tirard's live-action adaptation should be so sickly and staid. While the books still seem satirical and modern, the film is set in an idealised 1950s Paris, with a much-too-cherubic actor in the title role.