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Bangkok Dangerous (18)

Nicolas Cage, hair an unattractive black-dyed comb-back and face ever closer in contour to Gene Wilder, stars in this Pang brothers remake of their Hong Kong thriller.

He plays a crack international assassin, the sort who lists his four rules for hitman success and then proceeds to break all of them because, hell, he wants us to know he's a nice guy underneath. On the plus side, Bangkok itself is shot in atmospheric chiaroscuro – a nocturne of glitter and gloom – and Shakrit Yamnarm brings an attractively human side to the hitman's admiring protégé. But even if you don't tire of the relentless violence, you might want to call time on Cage's tough-but-sensitive übermensch, the sort who can kill without blinking and then goes all gooey-eyed over a beautiful deaf-and-dumb woman he meets in a pharmacy. Their so-called romance has all the authentic feeling of a Thai tourist brochure.