DVD: The Love Guru (12)

Guru Pitka (Mike Myers) is the world's second-best guru, but when he's asked by the owner of an ice hockey team (Jessica Alba) to reunite their star player (Romany Marco) with his estranged wife (Meagan Good), he sees the chance to become No 1 and achieve his ambition to appear on Oprah. What results isn't a patch on the Austin Powers films. Even if jokes about erections, dwarfs and faeces might have you chuckling, you're still likely to find this too low-brow. Justin Timberlake's French goalie Jacques "Le Coq" Grande has his moments, but Sir Ben Kingsley should be embarrassed. Even at 85 minutes, it's a chore – and you're a masochist if you stay around for the deleted scenes to see what didn't make the grade.