DVD: You Will Meet A Tall Dark Stranger (12)

"I need direction," whines Gemma Jones's jilted wife to a swami (Pauline Collins).

So does Woody, it seems. This infidelity saga is a crushingly mundane and disappointing effort from the genius who gave us relationship gems such as Crimes and Misdemeanours, Hannah and Her Sisters and Annie Hall. Here a gaggle of well-heeled Londoners, most of them writers, are looking to cheat on their other halves and fret about their "matrimonial agonies". Naomi Watts wants to sleep with her boss (Antonia Banderas), and her husband (Josh Brolin) wants to jump a musician across the road (Freida Pinto). Expect no laughs.