Killers (12A)

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The Independent Culture

A profoundly silly and boring non-com in which domesticity collides with professional death-dealing, a la Grosse Point Blank.

Katherine Heigl sheds a little more of her likeability as a clingy homebody who, holidaying on the Riviera with her parents, meets hunky Ashton Kutcher. They swoon, they kiss, and three years later, they're married and living in suburban bliss. Too late does she discover that he was a hired assassin for a government agency – though she might have wondered about the huge hunting knife he carried on him back in the courtship days. Kutcher gets to show off his pecs a lot, but as a romantic lead he's dead behind the eyes. The one bright spot in the whole farrago is Catherine O'Hara as Heigl's dipso mum, gargling on Bloody Marys at 11 in the morning. Which is probably the most painless way to get through this.