Penelope, (U)

This is what a friend of mine would call a "gobber" – so bad, it makes you want to spit. Christina Ricci plays the high-born heroine of the title, afflicted by a witch's curse that has turned her nose into a pig's snout. Only the love of a fellow "blueblood" – such as James McAvoy's hapless gambler – can break the curse. The film is set in London, so why does almost the entire cast talk in American accents? Well, I suppose it chimes with the American ambivalence over body perception (you can be ugly, but only for so long) and the American reverence for money and the aristocracy. Just horrible.

View the Penelope trailer