She's the Man (12A)

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'Twelfth Night' recast as a high school "soccer" comedy? Well, it might have worked, if the Americans understood footie, if Shakespeare's identity-swap shenanigans were halfway plausible, if the heroine Amanda Bynes had done a better job of impersonating a boy, if the hero Channing Tatum hadn't been such a dull plank and if there had been the smallest chance of finding any of it funny. Warning: it contains Vinnie Jones.