The Knot, Jesse Lawrence, 92mins (15)
Starring: Noel Clarke, Mena Suvari
It may not be the worst British wedding comedy ever – I recall The Wedding Tackle with a shudder – but it's damn close.
Noel Clarke co-writes and stars as best man to Matthew McNulty, whose tying of the knot with Talulah Riley must surmount the supposedly hilarious obstacles of toilet traumas, lost rings, stupid pranks, incompetent groomsmen and emergency bottom-stitching at the hospital (bridesmaid sat on a glass).
In its mash-up of stag'*'hen-night misbehaviour, the film rips off both The Hangover and Bridesmaids, without a shred of either's ingenuity or comic chops.
What's galling is the way it celebrates every last bit of crude and gormless behaviour before inviting us to go "aah" at the sight of bride and groom finally pledging their troth – who could possibly care by this stage? It's like the most inept wedding speech you've ever heard, and it lasts an hour and a half.
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