The Lives of the Saints (PG) <!-- none onestar twostar threestar fourstar fivestar -->

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The fashion photographer Rankin and Chris Cottam co-direct this tale of a foundling who descends on Green Lanes, north London, creating havoc among a coterie of lowlifes. Is it an angel, a lucky mascot, or just a kid with a curly mop? Marc Warren as a transvestite priest and James Cosmo as a thickly accented Mr Big are the recognisable faces, though why they'd want to be recognised is a mystery; the quarter-witted script (by Tony Grisoni) and risible storyline would make most actors run for the hills. "Muddled" is the polite word, balderdash the preferred one.