The Mutant Chronicles (18)

This chaotic and unusually profane action movie is set in 2707, though from the look of its rain-sodden trenches and gas attacks, it could be 1917. A territorial war becomes so violent that it summons an army of bald-headed mutants from (I'm guessing here) the very maw of Hell. Cue more slashing, skewering and spouting of cartoonishly red gore as a rainbow coalition of warriors set out to save humanity, led by Ron Perlman in a scarlet cowl. Almost worth watching for a hilariously awful cameo by John Malkovich, whose line, "The absence of gravity interferes with my digestion", got one of the few laughs in an abject week for cinema. The world economy is not the only thing going down the pan.