Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, Michael Bay , 147 mins, (12A)
Starring Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Josh Duhamel, John Turturro
Friday 19 June 2009
Second time out for the action vehicle about cars that turn into oversize Tonka toys, blowing stuff up and threatening world domination. They'd be welcome to it if only they'd turn the noise down.
Sitting through it is like being strapped to a Marshall amp whacked up to full volume and then driven round and round a gigantic auto scrapyard. Michael Bay directs, adding yet another black mark to his CV (Pearl Harbor, Bad Boys II), Shia LaBeouf stars as the chosen saviour of mankind in its battle against the evil Decepticons (yawn), while co-star Megan Fox wears a lot of lip-gloss and not much else.
Fourteen-year-old boys will get their money's worth. This boring, preposterous nonsense is stretched to an agonising two-and-a-half hours, the last battle scene alone – where the pyramids of Egypt crumble (thanks guys!) – seeming to last longer than the whole of The Iliad. That at least was poetry. This is just machinery.
Is the comedy album making a comeback?comedy
Arts & Ents blogs
- 1 Woman and two children killed by mob in riots over 'blasphemous' Facebook post in Pakistan
- 2 Christians: The world's most persecuted people
- 3 The secret report that helps Israel hide facts
- 4 Danish TV reporter is all business up top, all party down below
- 5 Ross Burden dead: MasterChef and Ready Steady Cook star dies at age 45
'Phallic symbols' found hidden in famous Pre-Raphaelite painting 'Isabella' by John Everett Millais
Game of Thrones season 4 blooper reel unveiled at Comic-Con 2014
Top Gear Burma episode breached Ofcom rules over Jeremy Clarkson's racial slur
Best movies on Netflix UK and US: 32 films that will end your endless scrolling
Coolio has sold his soul to Pornhub
The secret report that helps Israel hide facts
A day in the life of Vladimir Putin: The dictator in his labyrinth
Woman and two children killed by mob in riots over 'blasphemous' Facebook post in Pakistan
A new Russian revolution: The cracks are starting to appear in Putin’s Kremlin power bloc
Were 'Poor Doors' added to mixed developments so wealthy residents don't have to go in alongside social housing tenants?
Arizona execution lasts two hours as killer Joseph Wood left 'snorting and gasping' for air