be good if strong, or even
Man in a circus
Ten subjects introduced into pub quizzes in order to baffle the intellectuals and swots who would otherwise know everything and win every time
TV signature tunes
History of underwear
History of crime
Ten unfortunate ways to open a conversation
"I don't know anyone here."
"Haven't we met somewhere before?"
"I'm sure I know your face from somewhere..."
"You're from Barnsley, aren't you?"
"There's someone in Barnsley who is the spitting image of you."
"You'd like Barnsley."
"So, what do you think of this Monica Lewinsky business then?"
"Did you see the news the other night?"
"Did you see the papers this morning?"
"What line of business are you in, then?"
Ten unusual phobias
Agoraphobia - fear of old Greek market places
Aguephobia - fear of getting diseases mentioned only by Shakespeare, which no living doctor can cure any more
Agaphobia - fear of being made fun of for having a trendy stove
Aggrophobia - fear of being duffed up by football fans
Aghaphobia - fear of the leader of a small Ismaili sect
Accraphobia - fear of being beaten up in a lawless African city
Agraphobia - fear of being overcharged by an Indian tour operator
Acrephobia - fear of not being able to convert English land values into hectares
Eigerphobia - fear of falling off snowy heights
Agar-agarophobia - fear of any gelatinous substance made from seaweed
Ten poncy words that people use as an alternative to `two'
Ten unsatisfying ways to end a conversation
"Let's agree to differ, shall we?"
"It's only a game, after all"
"Some you win, some you lose."
"Don't do anything I wouldn't do!"
"Good heavens, is that the time?"
"I've just seen someone over there I really must grab before they go..."
"Oh, well, it takes all sorts..."
"I've just realised you're not the person I thought you were."
"I have just realised you are so pig-headed that I am going to beat you over the head with golf clubs."
"We must do lunch."
Ten books never referred to by name, but only by the names of the people who started them
Ten things which are useless by themselves but which we always keep, just in case
A single sock
A single glove
One Monopoly pounds 5 note
One screw lying innocently on the car floor
Fifty-one playing cards
One phone number on a loose piece of paper, no name attached
A nearly empty bottle of flat tonic water
A single spare shoe laceReuse content