Fiona and John Earle, meanwhile, have a chiz chiz hua hua, to replace both rhythm brush and muted trumpet at jazz sessions, and an ilk hound, to detect Highland chieftains at 500 yards. Philip Marlow's savoyed can bark along to Gilbert and Sullivan, while his stringer spaniel originated, like RA Carter's hackshund, in Fleet Street. Tom Gaunt's Goulden retriever will select wines for you. John, Janet and Joanne Morton's English settler accompanied early migrants to the US, their Irish settler drinks Guinness by the pint, and their great Newfoundlander's ancestor accompanied Christopher Columbus. Chris Parry has both a dear hound for when he needs a status symbol and a cheap hound for days when he just can't be bothered. Leslie Hughes has a melancholy for those pessimistic moments, and a whippet for shoplifting expeditions. John Harris's dockshund finds remedies for nettle stings. Ross Lambert's cooker spaniel is making a killing in Clerkenwell; his Rachmanese does the same in the bedsits of King's Cross. Peter B Thomas's Dogwood merely shrubs when asked to do something, and his Italian chow simply won't stay at home. Kate Dash's English toy is a marvellous companion for the bored housewife. Harry Karstens' Jeremy Beagle annoys his neighbours. Robert and Joyce Aspland's Sky terrier came with a free satellite dish. Eric Dunkley needs a painter to touch up scratches from his wire-brush terrier. PM Cooper has a Fealyham for the visually challenged, a Hague terrier (a sort of bald chihuahua) and a wire-haired chihuahua for unblocking drains. Patrizia Gargiulo has an example of the papal anti-contraception dog, the Irish letter.
Bill Palmer's follie guards the Millennium Dome. Angel and Chris Jones's Jarvis Cocker spaniel defecates to the tune of "Earth Song". Bruce Birchall's Rot-wailer barks on about how the country is going to the dogs. Mary Rhodes's St Jude takes children for walks and loses them. Andrew Duncan's bearnaise mountain dog adds sauce to any adventure, and, finally, Max Neill's shiatsu gives a great massage. Chambers Dictionaries of Quotations to PM Cooper and Fiona and John Earle.
This week, Bruce Birchall would like to give you an opportunity to influence British constitutional history. New Labour proposes to get rid of the House of Lords in its present form. But what are they going to replace it with? They don't say. You, however, will no doubt send some brilliant suggestions to Creativity, The Independent, 18th Floor, 1 Canada Square, Canary Wharf, London E14 5DL. The top two, or threeif someone has won one for suggesting the week's theme, will win a copy of the Chambers Dictionary of Quotations. Results two weeks from today.Reuse content