But why stop at mere changes to the arrangement? The words "Frustrate their knavish tricks,/ On Thee our hopes we fix,/ Oh, save us all!" are hardly in keeping with the new millennium. And the melody, let's face it, is a bit plodding.
Old-fashioned censorship can help. The Germans emasculated "Deutschland uber Alles". In Britain, too, the old lines "And like a torrent rush/ Rebellious Scots to crush" have also vanished. Better to go the whole hog and find a new anthem. Obvious candidates such as "Land of Hope and Glory" are of little use - they fall out of the royalist frying-pan into the imperialist fire. We could choose modern icons, say "Satisfaction", or "Things Can Only Get Better". Or perhaps we should stick with the sage advice of Billy Connolly and stage a hum-in of The Archers' theme. Just as long as we stay away from samba-rhythm "happy and glorious". Her Majesty will thank us for it, eventually.