Leading Article: God save the Queen
Friday 05 November 1999
But why stop at mere changes to the arrangement? The words "Frustrate their knavish tricks,/ On Thee our hopes we fix,/ Oh, save us all!" are hardly in keeping with the new millennium. And the melody, let's face it, is a bit plodding.
Old-fashioned censorship can help. The Germans emasculated "Deutschland uber Alles". In Britain, too, the old lines "And like a torrent rush/ Rebellious Scots to crush" have also vanished. Better to go the whole hog and find a new anthem. Obvious candidates such as "Land of Hope and Glory" are of little use - they fall out of the royalist frying-pan into the imperialist fire. We could choose modern icons, say "Satisfaction", or "Things Can Only Get Better". Or perhaps we should stick with the sage advice of Billy Connolly and stage a hum-in of The Archers' theme. Just as long as we stay away from samba-rhythm "happy and glorious". Her Majesty will thank us for it, eventually.
Film The critics but sneer but these unfashionable festive films are our favourites
TV We're so close to knowing what happened to Oliver Hughes, but a last-minute bluff crushes expectations
Arts & Ents blogs
- 1 Nigel Farage: Me vs Russell Brand on Question Time – he's got the chest hair but where are his ideas?
- 2 Harry Potter fans can apply to the Hogwarts-inspired College of Wizardry
- 3 Jessica Chambers: 19-year-old woman 'doused with lighter fluid and burned alive' in the US
- 4 Russell Brand calls Nigel Farage 'poundshop Enoch Powell' in BBC Question Time debate
- 5 Orange Wednesdays are no more
Peter Lik: The self-proclaimed 'fine-art photographer' whose work sells for millions
The best underrated Christmas movies from Love, Actually to While You Were Sleeping
Grace Dent on TV: The Lost Honour of Christopher Jefferies was a beautifully shot, immensely considered drama
The Lost Honour of Christopher Jefferies, review: Jason Watkins is brilliant, but real victim Joanna Yeates is reduced to a footnote
Marilyn Manson denies involvement in shocking Lana Del Rey rape video
Disgruntled RBS worker writes hilarious open letter to Russell Brand after anti-capitalist publicity stunt leaves him hungry
Shock poll shows voters believe Ukip is to the left of the Tories
Nigel Farage's approval rating hits record low as popularity suffers in wake of Ukip sex scandal
Ukip candidate jokes about 'shooting peasants' in racist and homophobic rant
Pakistan school attack live: Taliban kill at least 132 children in 'horrifying' massacre
Germany sees 'visible rise' in support for far-right extremism in response to perceived 'Islamisation' of the West