Why not try the ancient method of pole-vaulting. A large hole could be dug at selected places (Trafalgar Square, Waterloo Bridge, St Paul's) where we could "pitch" our poles for the long 50ft haul across London's skyline. The image of suited city-goers in early morn weaving through the air like a field of corn in the wind is surely wondrous.
If this doesn't appeal we could employ our many pigeons, who would feel only too happy to help. These winged rats possess a keen understanding of London's back streets that even the Fred Housegos of this world would give their right arm for. They always seem more than cheerful when flocking around the solitary sandwich-eaters of St James's Park. Why not tie them together with a rope and create a "magic pigeon carpet" to fly to the office?
Alternatively we could just walk or cycle or take the bus? I'm sorry, I'm being ridiculous. I was letting my imagination fly away with me.
PAUL WHEATLEY, STEVE EVANS
London NW3Reuse content