Clare's tendency to generalise omits a central, defining feature of male and female sexuality. Namely, that the fulfilment or otherwise of our sexual identity is bound inextricably to the fate and quality of our relationships with others, and this begins in infancy. Sexuality has its roots in biology but expresses itself most deeply and fully through the capacity for sustained intimacy, which is a psychological accomplishment. Clare appears to conceive of men and women as barely related species fraught with incomprehension.
A capacity to relate in depth to either sex is a prerequisite for emotional and sexual health.
More on people, less on penises, please, Professor.