Lyric Sheets; A Nation of Music Lovers
Friday 03 December 1999
"Break out the cigars boys
I can feel it in my bones."
Said Brenda at the Hospice Shop
"Music sales are up this year."
As cloth-eared Britons everywhere
Prepare for party-time again.
And having got a house at last
I thought I'd fill it up with sound
By championing outlets which
Sell tapes and CDs by the pound
Torn between The Golden Hour of Harry Secombe
And The World of Fairground Organs
At 20 pence a shot or less
I'd have them both and then progress
To Help the Aged
And still have change from 50p.
Then who knows what
Might come to light, that rocks
In some old cardboard box.
"Music. Proper music, boys.
Tried and trusted over time
Not fifteen quid a shot
For some old rubbish in the charts."
Said Brenda at the Hospice Shop:
"James Last, Russ Conway,
Lena Horne, the Lennon Sisters;
Best Loved Catholic Hymns.
You won't go wrong with that."
I blew my one pound forty in
The Land Beyond the Bargain Bin
In boot sales, jumblies, bring'n'buys
The stuff they never talk about
In Loaded, Q and NME
Seems perfectly alright to me
Yeah. Break out those cigars, boys.
Review: Of Mice and Men
By opportunistic local hoping to exhibit the work
Fans will be hoping the role finally wins him an Oscar
What do gigantic horse heads tell us about Falkirk?
Finnish Postal Service praises the 'self irony and humour' of the drawings
The actor has confessed to his own insecurities
Allotments are the focus of a new reality show
Arts & Ents blogs
The food poverty scandal that shames Britain: Nearly 1m people rely on handouts to eat – and benefit reforms may be to blame
Scottish independence: It is the English who should be on their knees, begging the Scots to vote ‘No’
'Sinful': Video of British Muslims dancing to Pharrell Williams's hit Happy comes under attack
Nigel Farage: I’m taking on the status quo, and the Establishment’s fighting back
Abdullah Deghayes: My son was the martyr of a just cause, says father of British teenager killed in Syria conflict
Ukraine crisis: Helicopter gunships take country closer to all-out war
- 1 Chelsea 1 Sunderland 2: Graceless reaction of Jose Mourinho a sad effort to hide his own flaws
- 2 A bottle of wine a day is not bad for you and abstaining is worse than drinking, scientist claims
- 3 Unbeliebable: The White House offer 'no comment' to anti-Justin Bieber petition
- 4 Loch Ness Monster found on Apple Maps?
- 5 Shropshire criminals ‘using unmanned drones and infrared cameras to find illegal cannabis farms’ – and then steal from the growers