Lyric Sheets; A Nation of Music Lovers

A survey by the Office for National Statistics has revealed that the average yearly expenditure per household on CDs and cassettes has risen (yes, risen) to pounds 1.40 during 1999

"Break out the cigars boys

I can feel it in my bones."

Said Brenda at the Hospice Shop

"Music sales are up this year."

As cloth-eared Britons everywhere

Prepare for party-time again.

And having got a house at last

I thought I'd fill it up with sound

By championing outlets which

Sell tapes and CDs by the pound

Torn between The Golden Hour of Harry Secombe

And The World of Fairground Organs

At 20 pence a shot or less

I'd have them both and then progress

To Help the Aged

And still have change from 50p.

Then who knows what

Might come to light, that rocks

In some old cardboard box.

"Music. Proper music, boys.

Tried and trusted over time

Not fifteen quid a shot

For some old rubbish in the charts."

Said Brenda at the Hospice Shop:

"James Last, Russ Conway,

Lena Horne, the Lennon Sisters;

Best Loved Catholic Hymns.

You won't go wrong with that."

I blew my one pound forty in

The Land Beyond the Bargain Bin

In boot sales, jumblies, bring'n'buys

The stuff they never talk about

In Loaded, Q and NME

Seems perfectly alright to me

Yeah. Break out those cigars, boys.