Lyric sheets: In the week a poll of all age groups revealed that the most respected pop musician is Paul McCartney and the least repected is Keith Richards...

KEEF

Feet on table

Fag in gob

The ultimate designer yob

A picture in the attic and

A blueprint for the older mob

Who slouched to school resentfully

Or hung around the cemetery

To scratch their love on mossy tombs

For tardy girls from coffee rooms.

The inkwell eyes and sullen stare

The lupine looks and bird's nest hair

Pervaded later rock and roll

The urchin dandy of its soul

And parents asked in disbelief:

"Who is that Thing?"

We called him Keef.

Guitarists spend their lives denying

His influence. Of course, they're lying.

In posture, image, riff and hook

They waste their time. He wrote the book.

And when he dies ... and if he dies

The press will cluster round like flies

And every chorused voice will go:

"We told you so. We told you so."

And then they'll ask, in faint relief:

"What was that Thing?"

His name is Keef.